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All aboard the hot mess express…

Tanya Hennessy

I’m pretty much a professional mess. How I stay employed is a miracle.

If you’re wondering if you are also a hot mess…here’s 20 ways you can well and truly identify weather or not you are.

  • You think Twisties are dinner
  • Your clothes live on the floor
  • You call Dominos more frequently than your parents
  • People laugh when you say you have a boyfriend
  • You’re not sure if you’re wearing your own undies
  • You wish the kids menu was available to you
  • You’re wearing the same shirt you slept in last night to work
  • People who know you best have given up on expecting you to be on time
  • You spray perfume on your hair because it’s oily and smells but washing your hair is hell
  • You probably have been in some kind of cult
  • You regularly eat things straight out of the jar. #noregrets
  • You have food stuck to you most days…usually subway cookies or lettuce in your hair
  • You do your laundry so infrequently sometimes you have to wear swimmers to work
  • You don’t do groceries and when you do its just deodorant and chocolate. Thank God for self-serve. No judgment from the check-out chick.
  • You’re eating grated cheese straight from the bag right now
  • You just wear some clothes multiple times in a row…no one will notice, right?
  • You’re boss doesn’t recognise you when you wear make-up. “Oh Tanya you look like a different person”
  • You want your greatest love tattooed on your wrist on ankle…Chicken nuggets
  • Your work mates are amazed you’re employed…
  • You wish you looked more together. Like those girls with perfect hair and makeup. They look good in every outfit.

They always smell good. You wish you had your life more together and look like those girls on Instagram.

But here’s the thing. You can’t. You can’t be anything you’re not. Cause you have tried countless times. I say.

EMBRACE IT. HOT MESSES HAVE BETTER STORIES.

All aboard the hot mess express…

Tanya co-hosts Mix104.7’s breakfast show Ryan and Tanya weekdays from 6am-9am.

Image of ‘beautiful young…‘ via Shutterstock

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Tanya Hennessy

I’m a Newcastle girl who started life as an actor, dabbled in comedy, and now do breakfast radio at HIT104.7 Canberra. After graduating from my degree in theatre from Charles Sturt University in Bathurst, I spent the majority of my early and mid-twenties as a clown and a prostitute. (Literally, I was a clown at Luna Park in Sydney and worked for Opera Australia as an actor, and I was ALWAYS a hooker…. Mum's proud). What else? Well, I am a mess of a human. Nothing ever goes right for me. Even Lena Dunham would judge my messy life. I recently campaigned for adults to be able to order children’s meals in cafes and pubs. I love comedy and sitting down. I also love grated cheese. More about the Author

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