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10 things to remember when going through your break-up

Joanne Michelle

Going through a break-up is a grieving process and it takes time.

The day you realise you are no longer in a relationship can be emotional. If you initiated the break-up, you may feel liberated, empowered and satisfied. You may also feel anxious and afraid even though you did call it quits. If your partner ended your relationship, the feelings you may be experiencing are denial, confusion, scared, resentment, and uncertainty.

It can seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel but you alone have the choice to take back control of your life. When you take back control you will become more confident, happier, feeling more empowered and wanting to live the life you desire.

Transitioning from a relationship to single life can be a whole lot easier when you remember these things:

1. Remember it will take time

Let time be your friend. Don’t hurry the process. Don’t be afraid to face your emotions. Journaling how you feel can help with how you are feeling. Not into journaling?

Try this simple exercise: when you wake up in the morning, first thing before getting out of bed, grab a note book and write everything that is in your head, the way you feel, what you need to do today, absolutely everything.

2. Look after yourself

Making sure you are looking after your body, mind and soul. Feeding your emotions with a slack diet or drinking more than you should won’t help you in the long run.

By simply making a menu list and shopping list for the week of wholesome real food, you will find you will have more energy and can think much clearer. If you’re not much of a cook, there are amazing restaurants and cafe’s in Canberra. Check out HerCanberra’s Food and Drinks page for the best hot spots.

3. Get professional support

Once your break-up happens, you may not be thinking 100% clearly so don’t make any major decisions without correct legal advice. Even if your relationship ended amicably, getting yourself the right advice will help you in the long run.

You may need to also talk to your Accountant or Financial Planner to ensure you are on the right track financially. If you find yourself struggling, a support coach such as a break-up coach, can support you, and help you move forward during your break-up. Your coach can tailor your sessions to your situation and give the support you need.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

4. Setting intentions

Set daily, weekly and monthly intentions and stick to them. Add them to your calendar with alerts.

By setting intentions you allow yourself to see the future more clearly.

5. Get active

Join a gym, boot camp or start going for walks around the neighbourhood.

Find a friend who can be your workout buddy and get fit together.

6. Keep busy

Plan your days to keep yourself busy. By keeping yourself busy you won’t have time to sit around and consume yourself with your break-up.

Get out of the house and start getting active or commit to making time for friends or hobbies.

7. Stay connected

Surround yourself with happy people who will support you in a positive way. Family and friends are great support, however, if you find them being negative or confused themselves, maybe it’s time to join a new group. Check out ‘Click + Connect’, a great new community from HerCanberra that connects women in our capital.

What is something you are interested in that you haven’t been able to do while in your relationship?

8. Self-awareness

By allowing yourself to be open to meditation, you will find yourself calmer and more aware of what feelings you are experiencing.

Give yourself five minutes in the morning, find a quiet spot, take a deep breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Repeat this as you close your eyes.

9. Write your goals down

Choose 3-5 goals you wish to achieve in the year.

List your goals and write an action plan under each of them. Start living the life you desire now.

10. Finding new love

You may find yourself wanting someone special in your life, someone to share your life with, as you are missing your ex. Give yourself time to heal.

Don’t jump into a new relationship for the sake of being in one. There is plenty of time to meet your special someone. If you choose to start dating, go in with an open mind, and don’t be too serious.

Enjoy your new life and the freedom it brings.

You are doing an amazing job.

Image of ‘woman looking…‘ via Shutterstock

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Joanne Michelle

Joanne is Founder of Joanne Michelle and is a certified Health Coach and Divorcee who has set up Canberra’s first one-on-one break-up coaching program; offering health and wellness advice and practical techniques to help provide much needed support to women after their break-up or divorce. Joanne’s mission is to support and EMPOWER women to rediscover their identity after their break-up or divorce. With lack of support during her own personal experience, Joanne wanted to ensure women have the much needed support on offer. Going through a break-up or divorce can often be a mentally and emotionally devastating time, not to mention stressful. With this in mind, Joanne is now providing a coaching service to support women after their break-up. Joanne is caring and approachable, and knows first-hand, life doesn’t end once you divorce. For more information, please visit www.joannemichelle.com.au or email [email protected] More about the Author

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