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Have I missed my window of having kids?

Kristen Henry

How intense is that title? I’d be having a wine if I wasn’t high on Endone.

It started as a sore tummy – I thought it was period pain. Fast forward eight hours and I’m waking my partner up in the middle of the night and asking him if he’d mind a short trip to the hospital. Pretty sure he has hoping I’d woken him up for something else.

Next thing I knew I was being admitted to the Canberra Hospital and was fasting as the surgical team prepared me for the possibility of surgery but on what they weren’t sure. I’d never had surgery before. Hell, I’d never been admitted to hospital before. I had wanted to drop a few kilos for my sister’s wedding, but this seemed a little extreme.

Endone is fun…how pretty is that unicorn? Also, this hospital gown and these compression socks? Holla! Black Opal Stakes outfit, sorted.

kristen hospital

A little less fun is internal ultrasounds and a conversation that starts with “one of your ovaries is enlarged and it’s posing a problem”. Turns out one of my girls isn’t happy; she has cysts, which are rupturing.

“What does this mean?” I asked.

Best case scenario: Some antibiotics and a robust conversation with said ovary that’s chucking a tanty.

Worst case scenario: Surgery and an effect on fertility.

“Have I gone and done it, did I miss my window of having a baby?” I asked the surgical team. “Let’s not have that conversation just yet,” they replied.

I’m 32.

Let’s hope some antibiotics will do the trick, but I’d be lying if I said that maternal voice in my head isn’t saying “I told you so, Ms Career girl”. All my life I’ve chased the best radio gig and my career has been my baby. There’s always been this niggling voice that questioned whether I was playing with fire. Whether this drive, this obsession would mean I’m putting all my eggs (literally) in one basket. My friends have started to settle down, have babies and I always thought “I still have time”.

Perhaps maybe not as much time as I thought.

kristen hospital2

I tell myself I haven’t been ready, I tell myself I’ve lived my life and followed my passions – not the passions my Nan might like me to have, but my own. All my friends who are mums have this knowing smile when I say that out loud. If I had a dollar for every time I heard “you’re never ready”.

So, where to from here?

More tests, more goggling of positive affirmations and a column that’s dedicated to other ladies whose title is “Ms Career”. Live your life, no one else’s, but make sure you’ve got one eye on what time it is. Just in case.

Image of ‘woman looking a night city‘ via Shutterstock

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Kristen Henry is one half of The Kristen and Wilko Show on MIX 106.3 in Canberra. Follow her adventures at kristenhenry.com.au.

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