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Struggling To Be In Control As a New Parent: Skye’s Story

Chrissy Dupé

Becoming a parent can be a shock for control freaks, as Canberra mum Skye discovered.

“As a first-time pregnant woman I thought I had it all figured out.

I exercised nearly every day, went to prenatal yoga classes and made sure I was gaining the right amount of weight (for me and for my baby).

I regularly did acupuncture sessions, organised my nursery inspo on Pinterest and, when I was finally about to burst, stocked my freezer full of two weeks worth of nutritious, home-cooked dinners.

I was totally ready and looking forward to meeting my baby, letting go and going with the flow. I just couldn’t wait to sit on the couch in my tracksuit pants in a blissed out newborn haze, with nothing else to do but take care of my precious bundle of joy.

I should have realised that I was totally kidding myself…

Needing to be in control as a new parent was really important to me, and as it turns out I don’t do so well with ‘going with the flow’.

A month or so in and, in hindsight, I was an anxious mess.

When would the baby sleep? When would I sleep? When would I shower/pee/eat/change underwear/drink a magnum of wine?

The answer to all of these questions was ‘I don’t know/possibly never again’. For a control freak, this is pretty terrifying.

Thankfully, I did change my underwear eventually, although I’ve had to revise my expectations on what constitutes a serving size of wine. Becoming a mum was far more challenging than I ever expected, despite being fairly well-prepared beforehand and having a ‘good’ baby.

One of the best things I did in those early days was to admit to myself that I did eventually need to get a little bit of control back over my day, for my own sanity… and realised that my baby wouldn’t feel unloved or suffer any long-term psychological damage if I did.

It’s hard with a newborn, but small things like keeping the same ‘bedtime’ every day made all the difference for me.

I needed to have a plan, as long as I was mentally prepared to throw that plan out the window. 

I also needed to stop going into information and’ mum guilt’ overload from all of the conflicting advice online on what parents and babies should be doing, and do what worked for us. No right or wrong, as they say.

Nearly ten months in and I’m loving the motherhood journey. It turns out you can be a control freak and an okay mum at the same time–well at least I think I’m doing alright.

I’ve let go of a lot of things, like cleaning standards and any kind of fashion, but I’m feeling more confident about the whole mum thing, and who I am when I’m a mother.

We’re not perfect, but we’ve come a long way since those early days on the couch and I’m feeling like a much saner version of myself!”

~

Skye is a 32-year-old communications manager from Canberra who shared her story with us via www.controlyourfreak.com.

Control Your Freak is a website dedicated to helping women who love to be in control harness the power of their inner control freak and use it to live the life they want.

Want To Find Out How To ‘Control Your Freak’ And Start Using It To Your Advantage In A Major Way? CLICK HERE to learn more.

If you’re experiencing difficulty with motherhood, you can reach out to PANDSI anytime on 6288 1936 or by emailing [email protected]

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Chrissy Dupé

Chrissy is a lover of lists and a self-confessed control freak. Her mission is to help other women with a strong need to be in control learn how to harness the power of their inner control freak and use it for good. Having lived through the devastation that being control freak without focus brings, and going out the other side stronger, Chrissy developed a series of hands-on, zero 'fluff' programs to help women control their freak, instead of letting it run them into the ground. Her philosophy is based on the little-known fact that control freaks are actually born for greatness... and that without them, the world would fall into disorganised chaos. You can find out more at www.controlyourfreak.com. More about the Author

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