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How to be grateful during your break-up

Joanne Michelle

It seems like an unrealistic thing, being grateful during your break-up.

Why would I want to feel happy? I have nothing to be grateful for.

When going through a break-up, all you see is that your life has been turned upside down. You feel sadness, anger, guilt, the need for revenge and scared. Gratefulness and finding gratitude is the last thing on your mind…right?

When you change your belief and start seeing the beauty in your life, even the small things, your break-up will be a little easier to get through. Holding on to the negative emotions that come from a break-up doesn’t do you any favours.

Break-ups are tough. They hurt…a lot.

Yes, you do need to feel the pain and allow it to come out, but at the same time feeling gratitude will help you.

The reality is that the pain will be there, but at a time of loss, pain and everything else you maybe feeling, you tend to forget about the good that is in your life; the positives in your life. Without looking at the positives and the beauty in your life, your healing will take longer than it needs to. Going through a break-up doesn’t last forever, and you can get through this.

I recently looked back on a journal where I wrote five things I was grateful for at the beginning of my break-up. It reminded me how healing these lists were for me. These lists made me realise I had so much to be grateful for in a time that didn’t seem so positive. This positive energy from these lists really helped me through my healing and it can help you too. By putting your focus on positive aspects of your life, you will find yourself moving away from the negatives.

Being grateful is truly a healing tool. When you acknowledge the good in your life, you will feel happiness. When you feel happiness, your anxiety and stress ease.

What if you could ease that feeling of suffering and embrace beauty in your life? You would, wouldn’t you?


Here is a simple exercise:

At the end of the day just before heading to bed, write down 3-5 things you are grateful for (for the day). It really could be anything, such as your children, the flowers in the garden, the coffee you had, whatever you feel that makes you happy today. Each day maybe different, or the same.

Not sure if you can do this? Try doing your grateful list for a week, and then go back and reflect your gratitude. Once you start to practice gratitude daily you will feel more love in life.

Remember: when going through a break-up, having gratitude will help ease your pain.

Make this exercise a special time for you by writing in a nice notebook or journal, turn on the lamp or light a candle, jump into bed and give yourself some time to reflect on the day. Give it ago and see how you feel at the end of the week. Continue this, especially when you don’t feel so good. By focusing on gratitude your spirit will lift and remind you to keep going.

Find love in every moment, yes even the moment of suffering… By changing your mindset and your expectation for appreciation in life, your whole life changes. You will be happy no matter what.

Life doesn’t end after your break-up, life is just beginning. Remember, you choose how you feel.

Image of ‘portrait of…‘ via Shutterstock 


Joanne Michelle

Joanne is Founder of Joanne Michelle and is a certified Health Coach and Divorcee who has set up Canberra’s first one-on-one break-up coaching program; offering health and wellness advice and practical techniques to help provide much needed support to women after their break-up or divorce. Joanne’s mission is to support and EMPOWER women to rediscover their identity after their break-up or divorce. With lack of support during her own personal experience, Joanne wanted to ensure women have the much needed support on offer. Going through a break-up or divorce can often be a mentally and emotionally devastating time, not to mention stressful. With this in mind, Joanne is now providing a coaching service to support women after their break-up. Joanne is caring and approachable, and knows first-hand, life doesn’t end once you divorce. For more information, please visit or email [email protected] More about the Author

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