Anzac Day thoughts from a new Canberran and “military life” expert
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A dedicated military spouse for more than 20 years, new Canberra resident Beck Rayner has experienced first-hand the profound challenges that many defence partners and families encounter as part of the Australian Defence Force community.
And this Anzac Day, the recently-appointed member of the ACT Ministerial Advisory Council for Veterans and Families wants Australians to think differently about some of the misconceptions around military life.
Beck’s first ten years as a military spouse were plagued by the feeling that she didn’t “fit” with any of the places or communities in which she and her partner were posted.
After realising that many other military spouses also struggled with these same feelings of isolation, Beck founded Military Life with the assistance of Frontline Labs— an online platform committed to providing guidance, information, and connection for defence partners and families.
Beck and her family
Driven by her personal experiences and a desire to ensure every defence partner feels acknowledged, valued, and supported, Beck has spearheaded a number of initiatives dedicated to connecting the Military Life community, such as fostering online communities, establishing an information hub, running a dedicated Community Connector program which offers face-to-face, peer-led events across the ACT, WA, SA, VIC, NSW, and QLD, and recording a podcast that is ranked in the top 5 per cent of podcasts globally, boasting 85,000 downloads.
When asked how she commemorates Anzac Day, Beck says she “acknowledges the sacrifices of those defence members and families who have come before us, those currently serving like my husband and family, and those who will serve and sacrifice in years to come. It is also touching to see people taking the time out of their lives to appreciate our country and be thankful to those who have protected us and continue to do so.
“There are so many thoughts and feelings that Anzac Day evokes—sadness, mateship, pride, sacrifice, gratitude, separation, and importantly community.”
She noted that many of the misconceptions around military life included the notion that defence families received free rent.
“We don’t get free rent, we get reduced rent but in saying that we don’t get to choose where we move or where we live and the amount the rent is reduced by is not significant enough to make up for the military partner being unable to find work, being underemployed, the reduced super—all of the challenges that come with living defence life.”
Another misconception is that military members get paid a lot of money.
“They get extra allowances and pay for being deployed but with that comes danger they are often in locations, doing things that they deserve to be paid more money for. They are on call ALWAYS. They work for six-to-nine months straight when deployed… I am pretty sure if your employer asked you to work the amount military members work for a that same stretch your pay would also be more.”
There is a misconception that partners and families just follow defence members around the country.
“Often we choose to stay in a location for the stability of our careers or our family and then we are living apart from the ADF member for two-threeyears stretches. It is a hard decision to make on whether to keep employment, consistent education, a location you like, a support network but be apart from your loved one for a long period of time.”
Or that they get a choice as to where they go.
“We don’t. We go wherever the ADF send us [or] where that military member is needed at the time. We can have a preference, but it is not guaranteed we will get our preference.”
The final misconception Beck wants to address is the notion that military members go away for six months and then get six months off.
“We wish! The military member will sometimes, not always, get a couple of weeks off with their family and then it is back to work and away or doing whatever is required of them. But if something happens when they are having that time off, like a flood or it is decided military members are needed on the borders for things like COVID assistance then they will be pulled off that leave and sent right back out again.”
But Beck is also grateful for so much of her military family life experience.
“It is like a special club that only we get to be a part of. Job security for the military member and consequently the spouses and families is not something we need to worry about. We have the chance to live in various places around the country and to see Australia. Having to constantly transition and change allows us to become very adaptable. The job satisfaction and the immense pride the military member has and the spouse and family has knowing the ADF member are doing their bit to protect the country.”
