Five minutes with parenting expert and author Rebecca Sparrow
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Good friends and parenting experts Dr. Madonna King and Bec Sparrow have come together to write an absolutely essential guide to navigating the world with a neuro-divergent child.
Based on thousands of interviews with children and parents, medical experts, and educators, Out of the Box is chock full of practical tips and advice for situations from choosing a school to giving dating advice!
Can you tell us briefly how you came to this topic both individually and as collaborators?
I (Madonna) have come to it as a journalist, pondering public policy, school behaviour, and inclusiveness. So perhaps I’m on the outside of the house, looking in. Bec is on the inside, looking out. She has a neurodivergent child, but also has a huge following of mothers and teachers, who have been wondering about this issue – and calling out for help.
Can you talk a little about the process of collaboration?
We are good friends, both love a project, and spend our time working with schools and others around children and teens, and how parents might plot a path for their children that helps them become kind, curious, and independent adults. After both of us were approached repeatedly by parents, wanting to know why their child was struggling to fit into traditional friendships or class lessons, we had coffee (and cake) and voila, Out of the Box was born.
The book covers a lot of grounds in a cleverly organised way… how did you settle on the structure (and the topics)?
We surveyed 2000 people, and interviewed more than 100 – from neurodivergent families, to school teachers (and didn’t they have some interesting stuff to say), to world experts. We listened, and then the trends became very clear. The lack of clarity around diagnosis. Friendship issues at school. Teachers do the best they can, but often without the professional development that goes with that. Parents are at a loss to know what to do. And that’s why at the end of almost every chapter – from picking schools to friendship issues to dating and driving – there are very clear tips for parents and teachers.
What were the key things you wanted to discuss or get across in the book?
So many things, but every child deserves to learn, and shouldn’t we – as adults – work together to ensure that happens; that teachers need help here; that parents need help here; that teen girls, who mask their autism or ADHD, deserve our attention; that loneliness and exclusion are killers and we need to combat that. Is that enough for a start? LOL.
The real-life stories and voices make it so accessible – how did you go about conducting interviews and then rolling that in with your research?
The huge surveys provided information, and people signaled whether they were happy to be interviewed. We then did that – with both families and teachers. Once we had a clear picture of the problems and challenges, we sought out the best experts in the world – many of them neurodivergent themselves – to help provide the narrative. Have I said it includes tips on almost every issue?
What’s something that surprised or energised you throughout the research or writing process?
So many things: that diagnosis can take years because of cost and access (and that needs to change); that teen girls are masking their ADHD or autism in a bid to fit in (and that breaks my heart); that medicine for many conditions can actually make the playing field fair; that there is so much we can do as parents and carers to help our children with the challenges they face; that ND employees in one company saved the boss $40 million in a year; that we have to teach neurotypical parents how crucial it is to show their children the value of inclusivity;
What might readers of Out of the Box be interested in reading/listening to/viewing next?
There are amazing experts in this space who are really worth following online for their perspectives and advice including Atwood and Garnett, NeuroWild, Yellow Ladybugs, Sue Larkey and ADHD Mums (a podcast hosted by ND neuroscientist Jane McFadden). So many parents of ND kids, start to look at their child’s traits and realise, “Hmmm, maybe I’m also neurodivergent” – Jane’s website has some terrific free resources and tests for women to take to do online assessments.
What’s on your respective TBR?
Bec happens to run an online book club called Birds of a Feather so we’re both reading Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty over the holidays!
Out of the Box is out now.
