45 years of Karralika Programs: How Anne was loved back to life
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“There are these unspoken rules: don’t talk, don’t tell anyone what’s going on here, don’t feel anything, and don’t trust.”
These are the unspoken rules when you use drugs—something Anne* knew all too well before reaching out to Karralika Programs.
“For the first time I had to be vulnerable, I had to be real about what was going on for me and that felt terrifying—but that turned out to be such a strength later. To be in a group of people at Karralika, and be seen and heard.”
Sitting in a group surrounded by adults who understood completely what she was going through, for Anne it was this moment at Karralika Programs that stands out to her. Because after months of taking part in the Residential Family Program with her then-two-year-old daughter, things were finally looking up.
Firstly—after spending six months already immersed in the Karralika community—she realised she couldn’t stop at just one drink and came out of denial, admitting she was an addict. And secondly, she finally felt like she had a voice.
“Growing up in addiction, you lose your voice and become isolated and alone,” she says.
“A highlight was building relationships in there and feeling a part of something, being a part of a group, feeling loved—and loved back to life. Because before you get there, you just feel empty.”
Struggling with alcohol addiction from a young age, growing up Anne would watch as both of her parents battled drug and alcohol addiction. Feeling neglected by her family and disconnected from herself, she says she began to reach for similar substances to self-soothe when everything felt too hard.
“I grew up in a lot of emotional neglect,” she says. “I identify as an addict, but alcohol was my drug of choice. I would use any substance that I could, so I didn’t have to feel my feelings.”
“I still had a job; I had a car, and I had somewhere safe to live and I was functioning. But what was happening was that I was lost. I didn’t have any concept of myself, and I was empty.”
Then Anne had her daughter, and after ending her relationship with her partner, she knew that something had to change.
“I was drinking a lot more…I realised I was becoming more like my mum than I thought, and I didn’t want my daughter to be an adult child of an alcoholic or addict. So just before she turned two, I made a referral to Karralika.”
Celebrating 45 years of service.
Serving the Canberra and Southern New South Wales community since 1978, Karralika Programs has always focused on providing services to make positive and impactful changes in the lives of those struggling with drug and alcohol use.
A Canberra institution in its own right, Karralika Programs offers a range of services for people to access, giving them a choice between agencies and the type of support they need at the time.
In fact, it’s this history and dedication to the community that inspired Anne to reach out to Karralika for help—20 years earlier, her father went through the same program and came out the other side.
“He got clean and sober and so I knew Karralika existed because he had been there,” says Anne. “I picked that program because I knew I could take my daughter with me…that’s what made Karralika stand out compared to the other programs. I didn’t want to go into treatment without her.”
Looking back at her journey, Anne says she wouldn’t have made it through the 15-month program without having her daughter by her side, inspiring her to keep going and start a new life.
Able to focus on recovery while strengthening her relationship with her daughter and improving her parenting skills through additional parenting courses, Anne talks about her time at Karralika with pride.
Because although she wanted to leave more times than she can count, she didn’t. Anne broke the unspoken rules addicts give themselves—not to talk to or trust anyone—and now she’s about to celebrate her fifth year out of the program.
“There’s a misconception—addiction is just a way to soothe pain. We’ve just found a substance to use, it can be the same as sex or shopping or watching TV or smoking,” she says.
“I think we need more compassion and understanding around that, rather than it being something to be ashamed of.”
While she admits her journey was never linear, with a supportive and diverse team still behind her all these years later—one that continues to celebrate the healing, recovery, and work of people like Anne—she is incredibly proud of how far she has come.
And though Anne sees her courage to take a leap of faith and ask for help as an incredible show of strength, she wishes that other people would look beyond the stereotypes she often faces when she chooses to tell people “I’m in recovery.”
“[Karralika] literally saved my life and gave me a place to find myself because my true self has always been there, it was buried under me wanting to push down my feelings,” says Anne.
“The workers there and my fellow peers gave me a place to find myself, love myself, and have other people reflect the truth—not what my inner critic has been telling me. That I’m worthwhile and that I can change.”
*Not her real name.
