Moving to Canberra: Making friends
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Canberra charms you with its mountain views and weekend markets, then humbles you with the sudden realisation that you haven’t spoken to anyone but your barista in three days.
After two months of scenic solitude and strategic friend-scouting, I can confirm the rumours are only half-true: making friends here isn’t the impossible mission some claim, but it does require patience, persistence, and a willingness to keep showing up (especially on those days when your social life doesn’t).
When I first moved here, I was lucky. My partner’s friends quickly became mine too, which made the process of discovering Canberra’s best pubs and cafes infinitely easier. But there’s only so many Saturdays you can spend passionately debating AFL scores before you start craving your own kind of weekend –the girls, the shared sweet treat, and the endless nattering while trying on eight different jackets in Vinnies.
Making friends as an adult is weird. There’s no tutorial. No timetable. No pre-made friendship group forged in the crucible of shared hangovers and mutual hatred for 9 am lectures. Suddenly, you’re an adult in a new city, staring down the Canberra social landscape with the same bewildered expression as the first time you encountered a double roundabout. Where do you even start?
The answer, I’ve found, is the same way you explore Canberra itself: pick a landmark and start walking.
Follow the coffee
Canberra, as it turns out, runs on caffeine and conversation. Your local café is the perfect training ground. Those small, repeated chats with a barista or a fellow regular eventually morph into something more, even if it’s just an exchanged smile or a cappuccino that arrives with extra chocolate dusting without having to ask.
For a better class of small talk, venture into to community-minded hubs like Two Before Ten, Redbrick, or The Cupping Room, where the coffee is an art form and the conversations stretch far beyond the weather.
Let Facebook (and bravery) do its thing
If you’re ready to graduate from friendly chit-chat to actual plans, ‘Social Girls Canberra’ Facebook group is the unofficial matchmaking service for mates. The algorithm is simple, if slightly terrifying. You write a post describing yourself, your interests, your favourite brunch order (bonus points if you include a photo), then wait. The messages start rolling in. Some fizzle after a few DMs; others lead to coffee dates that feel like a friendly version of speed dating. It’s awkward at first and yes, you will repeat the same conversation a dozen times, but it’s better to start than not.
Think of it as a digital tapas plate of potential friendships. You can sample, connect, and if you’re lucky, build your own little group from scratch.
Find your rhythm (literally or figuratively)
If the thought of a full-frontal Facebook friend-mission makes you shudder, find your herd through a hobby.
For me, it was street-dance. The simple act of showing up, week after week, among the same slightly awkward faces, does something magical. You move together, laugh at the same missteps, and somewhere between the warm-up and the cool-down, a community forms. It’s friendship without the pressure because the activity does most of the talking.
If your tempo is more run than rumba, Canberra’s social exercise scene has you covered. Underground Run Club offers a super social, non-intimidating Saturday run (8 am at Mocan and Green Grout, because of course there’s coffee after). Or try Parkrun – the 5k that ends not with a medal, but with a chat by the barcode scanner.
Prefer a slower pace? Canberra’s yoga studios, pottery classes, and community art workshops are full of like-minded locals quietly looking for connection. You don’t have to be good, just willing to show up!
Work friends count
Colleagues are the low-hanging fruit of adult friendship. They already understand your daily grind and your caffeine dependency. The key is to extend the conversation beyond the office kitchen. Go to the after-work drinks. Say yes to trivia night. Those small overlaps often turn into the kind of friendships that make Monday mornings slightly less brutal.
Tap into Canberra’s secret weapon: women’s friendship groups
For a more curated approach, Canberra has an entire network of communities designed for exactly this. Instagram pages like @cbrgals and @friendswithher.cbr host regular events where everyone’s goal is to turn a polite conversation into a proper plan. This is the easiest room to walk into, precisely because everyone is there with the same hopeful intention.
So, if there’s one thing to take away, it’s to keep showing up. Not just once, but again and again. Go back to the same café. Return to the run club. Send the second message. This repeated presence is what transforms a lone ‘Yes’ into a real routine and a friendly face into a fixture in your life.
You won’t find your new best friend overnight, but that’s the beauty of it. Each ‘Yes’ is a deliberate step out of solitude and into a city that suddenly feels like your own.
The initial quiet is temporary. One day, you’ll look up and realise the problem is no longer finding someone to talk to but deciding which of your new friends to call first. And the barista, wonderfully, will no longer be the only one who knows your name.
