“And then I peed my pants…My Misadventures in New Motherhood” by Canberra’s Meagan Phillipson

Posted on 25 April, 2014

“Since day one, Little Old Man* has been giving us a crash course in all things poo. He was born with a PhD in Pooology. As such, I endearingly call him by his alternate nickname- ‘Mummy’s Little Sh*t Machine’- as I wipe off the third Number Two for the morning. They are impressive displays of bowel movements and much of the conversation I share with The Hubby sadly revolves around the latest find in a nappy.” Meagan Phillipson

As a mum-to-be (about 33 weeks pregnant as I write this), I am prepared for all things POO. I figure that because I’ve got a dog and cat and already have to deal with their poo on a daily basis, then it shouldn’t be too hard to adjust to baby shit, right?

And then of course there’s all that other stuff I have to look forward to, like baby’s vomit and the long nights of sleep deprivation and the whole breastfeeding vs formula thing, not to mention what gear we’ll be needing for baby’s first camping trip and even which school baby will eventually be going to-but I’m jumping way ahead into the future here! Perhaps I ought to just get this pregnancy over and done with first before even thinking about family camping trips and kindergarten!

There certainly is a LOT of information out there today for expectant women and new mums on the whole pregnancy and motherhood thing-information that’s excellent, not so excellent, conflicting, confusing or just downright useless. There’s all the pregnancy and new mum magazines, all the latest scientific research you read about in the papers (apparently eating chocolate is now a good thing for baby and will make him/her very happy-now this is the kind of information I like!), huge tomes like my current bibles What to Expect When You’re Expecting, What To Expect in the First Year, and Baby Love by Robyn Barker, the well-meaning and sometimes annoying advice of family and friends, and of course, Dr Google (where would we be without you, Dr Google?).

But then the book ‘And then I peed my pants…My misadventures in new motherhood’ by Canberra author and new mum Meagan Phillipson falls into your lap, and for the first time, you get a truly intimate, personal glimpse of what the whole experience is like from a new mum’s perspective, starting from the moment when Meagan peed her pants (that is, when her waters broke) to the long twelve months in between before ending with her bubby’s first birthday.

A little bit about Meagan…

Meagan Phillipson grew up in Sydney and moved to Hamburg, Germany, in 2003 to study. It was there where she met her husband. “We moved back to Australia in 2005 and I now like to joke he was the excess baggage I brought back!” she says. They moved to Canberra the following year after Meagan was offered a job. “We had only moved back to Sydney from Germany so it was a bit of a leap of faith to pack up and move again,” Meagan says. “But in hindsight, we’re very glad we did.”

Because Meagan loves Canberra. “Canberra to me is more the people than the places. As a visitor it can seem quite cold, but once you move here you discover it is a tightknit but welcoming community.”

One of the best things Meagan loves about the Bush Capital is our cafe culture.  “I love to hang out in cafes where you don’t get death stares from staff for taking out a laptop,” she says. “Tilleys and The Front in Lyneham are both favourite haunts for this reason, as is Bookplate at the National Library. I hope they don’t kick me out now!”

And then I peed my pants…My misadventures in new motherhood

Meagan explains that she was inspired to write her book while she was in hospital. “I was wondering why I wasn’t told about the things that happened to me after birth and how I would feel. I wanted to share my story because all the advice books told me how things might be done but not how it would actually feel. This left me wondering if I was the only woman in the world struggling with the things I did. I later found out that I was far from alone and so I continued writing in the hope that other women might read my story and feel less isolated or lost in their journeys to motherhood.”

Like many first time mums, Meagan found the first year of motherhood extremely taxing. “I had zero practical experience with babies before I had my son,” she says. “The learning curve was massive even with all my studying beforehand of advice books. True to the cliché, nothing prepares you for the arrival of your own baby – even more so when you throw in postpartum hormones, sleep deprivation and trauma into the mix. For the first few months I really struggled to find my new normal.”

Indeed, the first year of motherhood for Meagan was “one long blur of sleepless nights, vomit-stained clothing and nappies. There were highlights, of course, but the lack of sleep dominated our view.”

Meagan describes her experiences in her book in a refreshingly honest, funny, extremely unromantic, and very unglamorous way. I’m sure many first time mums and long-time mums out there can relate to Meagan’s experiences:

On baby’s sleep…

“I have no idea where the saying ‘sleep like a baby’ comes from because it does not match what I have seen so far. Babies sleep more like drunk homeless men-they make loud random noises, startle easily, cry themselves to sleep, fart with abandon and end the night by pissing themselves.” (pg. 40)

On baby’s poo…

“Life has been dominated by sleep and poo since Little Old Man came along. At times there are only two topics I can think of and talk about with The Hubby. The baby’s poo, the baby’s sleep, our sleep or lack thereof. These are the greater tides that wash over all our actions and ultimately influence how our days turn out.” (pp.201-2)

On breastfeeding…

“The few people I have spoken to about my breastfeeding problems have all said the same thing. Little Old Man is healthy and I did my best, that’s all I could have done…I know all this but logic is not what upsets me. Rather, it is the inability that upsets me. I keep coming back to the fact that this was not my choice. I wanted to breastfeed, I wanted to bond, and I don’t have it.” (pp.108-9)

On The Hubby…

“Spending time with him each day is important too. It’s just hard when someone else has been on me, at me, and all kinds of grabby and demanding to then turn around and fulfil someone else’s request to be held. They are both my family and I love them dearly but there are still limits on how much I can give of myself.” (pp.159-60).

And on baby growing up…

“Life with Little Old Man can sometimes feel like Ground Hog Day. Every day we face the same set of unspoken arguments.  No, you can’t eat dirt out of the pot plant. Yes, we are going to try to eat this rice cereal. No, please no not another poo. Yes, you can destroy your father’s collection of German grammar books.” (p.336)

Today Meagan is getting the hang of the whole motherhood thing. Little Old Man is now “a very sweet and inquisitive boy who unfortunately has an ongoing habit of being a night owl. Although I must say his sleep is a lot better now than when I wrote the book!”

“We take each day as it comes,” she says. “He started childcare at the start of the year and we live with the constant uncertainty of him waking up sick. The first six months are apparently the worst and we’re counting down the weeks. On the plus side, he has started to talk and is heaps more interactive now. It is really fun to play games with him and watch his personality develop.”

Little old Man’s first birthday was a particularly joyous and memorable occasion. “It was like reaching the peak of a very steep and difficult mountain and finally being able to enjoy the view…well, that was until he started walking soon after! Then it was back to business.”

And I peed my pants…is a terrific, easy, and funny read that the mums-to-be and new mums amongst us will particularly enjoy.

As Meagan says in her book, “The ride has been incredible but rough…You could even say I peed my pants and lived to tell the tale!”

Where can I get Meagan’s book?

And I peed my pants…My Misadventures in New Motherhood is now available for purchase at Tommy & Me Cafe in Macgregor, Book Passion at the Belconnen Markets, KidCity Indoor Cafe in Mitchell and Carlee Children’s Wear in Gold Creek.

You can also purchase a paperback or eBook copy online. A full list of online outlets is available at: www.mevach.com

*Meagan’s nickname for her baby boy.