As the winter chill, quite literally, sets in, I have been too sick to go out to the movies but I’ve had plenty of time to see some really bad ones on daytime TV…and reminisce about great films I have seen. I will get out to the cinema next week but until then, dear readers, here are some suggestions for rentals when you are confined to the couch. Even if that confinement is voluntary and owing to nothing more sinister than a desire to ignore the sleet and fog outside.

There has been a bit of talk around the (virtual) HerCan office lately about Top 5 lists. Love them or hate them, they are a pop culture phenomenon that seems here to stay. I blame MTV. And microwaves. And David Letterman (well, why not?) Purdue University historian Randy Roberts has even created a Top 5 list of why Top 5 lists are popular!

I enjoy them because they are a fast and dirty way to get conversations started on my favourite flickering image topic that doesn’t include killer stone angels, a transporter beam or girls wielding wooden stakes – MOVIES.

However I didn’t think this piece would go anywhere if I just randomly clunked down a pile of titles, so I pulled together a focus group (actually just a daughter, a daughter’s boyfriend and a spouse over lunch). We writers don’t have expense accounts. This focus group then embarked on several gruelling hours of discussion (would you believe one gruelling hour? 30 minutes?) Discussion ranged across time and space, from one continent to another but, given the members, not into non-English speaking territory. Our loss. After you have perused the lists perhaps you would like to send in some suggestions of your own?

Zombies

The first Top 5 is the category that will not be ignored, shuffling to a cinema near you. ZOMBIES! Naturally topping the list is Dawn of The Dead, but it and Zombieland are the only US entries, the others are UK products: 28 Days Later, Shaun of The Dead and Warm Bodies (I suggested that one but it isn’t on DVD yet so let’s say Resident Evil).

Gangster

The second, and not just for the boys, is GANGSTER movies: I like an East End wide boy and two of the best are by Guy Ritchie – Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch; for that classic feel The Godfather; for an actual classic, The Maltese Falcon (or pretty much anything where Humphrey Bogart and Raymond Chandler are combined); and for do-your-head-in fun The Usual Suspects. Reservoir Dogs pushed for an honourable mention but there was an unexpected dissing of Goodfellas.

We really should have put Maltese Falcon in a separate WHODUNNIT list but that would have involved deep thought and this was a frivolous focus group.

Tearjerker

The group, in an unexpected spirit of fairness (or sympathy for the sick mother), then suggested TEARJERKER as a couchworthy list: Little Women (Gillian Armstrong version), Red Dog, Lassie Come Home (both double threats as they involve animals), Shadowlands and Toy Story 3. Don’t question this last choice unless you have seen it – ok?

Horror

… And then discussion went right back to HORROR and whether we should subdivide it in to Slashers and Supernaturals. Not a huge fan, so I’ll just note the Top 5 that surfaced first: Wolf Creek, Insidious, It, Poltergeist and Suspiria (no wait, that’s Italian and this is a xenophobic list) … um, The Thing, that’ll do.

War

Then, in deference to Dad, daughter suggested WAR movies. To be fair, it is a worthy genre if you ignore Quentin Tarentino (and I always try to): Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, The Thin Red Line, We Were Soldiers (back when Mel Gibson was still ok) and Tears of The Sun.

I kept mentioning The Hurt Locker and The Great Escape but no one was listening by then. The chatter spontaneously combusted into movies we loved as kids, TV we loved, and so on and so on.

Later, once again in seclusion on the Sofa of Sickness I considered other Top 5s that could be enjoyed with a mug of cocoa and a blanky. However I chose to ignore romance or rom-com lists. I was too grumpy and somehow kissing and coughing up a lung just don’t sit well together.

Sport

…but I only came up with Remember the Titans, Bring It On and maybe Chariots of Fire.

Musicals

Just FIVE??? Singin’ in The Rain, High Society, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Chicago and Hairspray! And Grease and The King and I and The Wizard of Oz… Can I blame fever for my inability to count?

Fantasy

Excalibur, Lord of The Rings (of course I am going to say that), Harry Potter (and that too – think about it, Harry alone will fill an entire weekend), Neverland and Dragonheart. I want to put Big Fish and The Fisher King in this list, too, but I am not sure if they qualify.

Sci Fi

(Argh! I can think of 10 right now but they need to be available on DVD and not too nerdy): Star Wars (don’t argue with me, don’t do it, limbs may be lost and we have invented regenerator technology yet); Terminator 2, Enemy Mine, I, Robot (if you can ignore the product placement), Sunshine (because it is Danny Boyle in space), and because this is my favourite genre I get one more. Don’t argue, I’m making up the rules. And I’m sick, humour me: Titan A.E. (Seriously, which led me to…)

Animated

Anything by Pixar (so technically that’s only one pick, right?), Iron Giant, Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, The Triplets of Belleville, Porco Rosso. Animation is a huge topic, maybe ANIME should be separate? I can feel myself sliding down a rabbit hole … list after list after list …

BIOPICS?

ACTION?

WESTERNS?

Could I make a STEAMPUNK in movies list?

And then I woke up.

Before I start listing lazy movies that use that device instead of good storytelling – do you have any suggestions for movies to add to these Top 5s – or other Top 5 lists we should have made?