How I Got Here: Lavinia Tyrrel
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Admit it, we’ve all been there – stalking social media and LinkedIn profiles, trying desperately to figure out how the hell someone got their dream job.
It seems impossible and yet there they are, living out your career fantasy (minus the itchy business suit). It might seem hard to believe, but once upon a time, they were also fantasising about their future career, and with some hard work, they made it.
Welcome to How I Got Here, HerCanberra’s series that reveals everything you want to know about the secrets of career success. This week, we sit down with the new Chief Executive Officer of Karinya House, Lavinia Tyrrel.
Existential crisis time: Who are you and what do you do?
My role is CEO of Karinya House. Karinya House is a longstanding Canberra based charity that supports women who are pregnant or parenting and are in crisis.
While that’s my job, I am also the co-chair of the ACT Government’s Maternity in Focus Advisory Group, member of the Perinatal mental health reference group, mother to two energy filled children — a six and ¾ year old (she will tell you the ¾ is very important) and a two year old — a representative volleyball player, coffee-lover, wife to a Bernard (also a coffee lover, well snob), sister, daughter, and advocate for women and girls in sport.
Let’s go back to when you were a kid, have you always dreamed of working in this industry?
Life events have led me to where I am today. Most of my previous career was in foreign affairs and overseas aid. That was until I had my first daughter in the ACT. I had a difficult time after her birth. A really difficult time. Having worked overseas I assumed that the maternity and support systems in Australia were without fault. However, when I went through my own parenting journey, I was astonished at the gaps in the system, and how hard it was to navigate and get the help I needed. That is despite the hardworking professionals I met — who went above and beyond to assist me often without the resources they needed. I also reflect how hard I found it when I had a roof over my head and a safe home; which too many women in our community do not have.
As I came through this experience, I had a choice: do something or do nothing. The Karinya House opportunity came along at just the right time to “do something”. My own experience drives my passion at work – and the belief that no woman should be charting pregnancy or parenting alone.
Tell us about when you were first starting out, what set a fire in your belly to get here and how did you do it?
My fire is more a slow smouldering fire, rather than something that was ignited at a single moment in time. From when I was in school to now, I have always been interested in people and the systems in which we live. What makes us different? What unites us? What is the relationship between agency and structure? How does our community determine who we are and visa versa? What do people need to thrive? How can we make our social and political structures more equitable?
Every country and community I have worked has opened my mind to these questions. I have had the privilege of working with women in Bangladesh who are raising families on less than $1 a day, to change markers in the Philippines looking to reform the education system, to women in Australia and Papua New Guinea who are charting a life forward from domestic violence. Each of these experiences has shown me that there is no limit to what people can achieve, provided we remove barriers in our community. It is these people, often women and children, charting a path forward despite the obstacles against them, who are the motivation and evidence that we can create a more equitable community in the ACT.
Recall a time when you wanted to chuck it all in; what did you tell yourself when it got too hard?
Some of my most challenging times followed the birth of my first daughter. It was hard to see a way out. Three things got me through. Time, support and my daughter. Time to take small steps and find a strength within myself. Support from husband and family around me. And my daughter, that instinctual desire as a mother to provide no matter what.
As a community there is so much more we could be doing to support women before and after pregnancy. Many people don’t know that there are women who are pregnant and homeless in Canberra, or that a woman’s risk of domestic violence increases exponentially the moment she falls pregnant. But the potential for better supporting women during this time is immense. With the right support, women can break cycles and chart a positive path forward for themselves and their babies/and children. The impact is not just for tomorrow for the ACT community, but it is intergenerational. There are women that Karinya House walked alongside decades ago, who now own their own houses, are leaders in different parts of the community and/or are providing a safe and happy environment for their children.
What was your biggest break?
I’ve had lots of little “breaks”. Meeting then marrying my husband (yes, an ANU Volleyball Club romance) and a small number of individuals, men and women, who have stuck with me in my career. These people created opportunities for me, pushed me when I needed it, been a sounding board, font of ideas, and general good person. I am very fortunate to have come across those individuals, and that they have stuck with me over different countries, time-zones, sectors, maternity leave and even attended my wedding.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
My Dad. He had a saying for his daughters “just go gal”; which is something only a father could say. But behind that was his (perhaps misplaced at times) confidence to just put your mind and hard work behind something and go after it. Set aside the worries, the nay-sayers, your own second-guessing and trust in your skills and ideas. Particularly good advice for his two daughters who were brought up in an era where there were few (if any) other female role-models to look up to in the workplaces.
What is it about your industry that you love and what makes you want to pull your hair out?
I am still new to the ACT social services sector. Only 18 months in. Many other CEOs are seasoned, 20y + professionals who have grown up through community sector. But what has struck me the most coming in new to the sector is the unbridled passion everyone holds for what they do. Two years ago I had no idea that, at the heart of our ACT community, were thousands of volunteers and front-line workers who have all chosen to do some of the most emotionally and physically taxing work possible — because they share a belief that everyone in the ACT deserves the opportunity to have lead a safe and inclusive life.
With such a base of passion and commitment, the frustration then comes when our political and social systems don’t keep up with the pace of chance that front-line workers need to do their job – and ultimately serve the women and children that we support. Changing institutions, norms is hard. But we have to chip away at it and be bold in what we expect from our political system, and from each other, if we are to achieve the type of Canberra we all want it to be.
Tell us how you ‘stay in the know’, what media do you consume?
I’m not sure I am ever ‘in the know’. Sometimes I delve into research papers the team send me and news articles on Riot ACT and our local radio stations – other times all I can manage in the day is to listen to a Hamish and Andy podcast. As this I know this will serve as good escapism from some of the more challenging aspects of our work.
I have to say though, the best source of learning and knowledge is the people around me. My team, the women we walk alongside, sector partners, consultants, the business leaders who support Karinya House – every interaction I have I learn something, or my thinking is expanded.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I wish I knew. Right now I am enjoying the joys (and tribulations: think gastro…) of a young family and contributing to an organisation which is a privilege to be a part of.
As the saying goes “life happens to us while we are making other plans”. I have never been good on plans. But I do know that whatever my next steps are will be guided by two things: the people I work with, and an alignment of values and purpose in the work. Those two guides have set me in good stead to date.
Why should people follow in your footsteps?
I wouldn’t advise this! Not only do I have a very large shoe size, but I wouldn’t be able to explain what the perfect mix of things is to land where I have landed. My work journey hasn’t been linear. It has taken me through the private sector, public service, NGOs overseas, large charities and volunteering. Perhaps the only constant has been a desire to learn, try (and inevitably make mistakes) and focus on putting your energy where you feel you can contribute positively – no matter how seemingly small that contribution.
What advice would you give your past self?
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let your kid have the ice cream. Let go of the narky email from a colleague. Let the laundry pile up one more day. Don’t agonise over the small decisions. Focus on the stuff that matters: the things or people that make you safe, motivated and bring you joy.
Main image by Liv Cameron.
