Picking up the stitches: Henry Shawcross’s journey through chronic illness, art, and gender identity
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Henry Shawcross (he/him) was forced to step away from his career after suddenly developing chronic illness. During this difficult time, he turned to his lifelong love of textiles as a form of agency and self-expression.
Now, as a professional visual artist, Henry explores themes of gender identity, queer joy, and disability. He was recently a finalist in the Lanyon Art Prize and runs art workshops where he shares his passion with the public.
In this conversation, Henry describes his experience with chronic illness, and the vital role textile art has had in building (in some instances, rebuilding) his sense of self.
An unexpected career change: from computer science to textile art
Given Henry’s success in the world of visual arts, it may come as a surprise to learn that his first career was actually in computer science.
His reason for this decision is deeply personal. Henry’s interest in computers began in high school, when he was exploring his gender identity. At the time, he was drawn to the internet’s potential for community and self-re-invention. Despite not feeling comfortable to be ‘out’ in his day-to-day life, Henry was able to use online chatrooms and forums to build his self-confidence and experiment with new names. It was also the place he discovered the existence of other transgender people.
“Back then, I pretty much thought I was the only transgender man in Perth,” Henry laughs.
In a way, Henry’s decision to pursue computer science allowed him to maintain a connection to the community that he had found for himself. Being online was relatively uncommon in the 1990s when he started university, but studying computer science made the internet readily accessible.
After graduating, Henry accepted an opportunity to move to Canberra and work as an IT consultant in the public service. He was a couple of years into his career when he began to experience some worrying symptoms.
“At first, I thought it was just the flu or a cold, because that’s what it felt like. At the time, I was still having a lot of days where I felt okay, so I just thought, ‘I’ll work through it’”.
“I was really motivated; I still wanted to do everything.”
But his symptoms only became worse. Following a two-year-long battle with the medical system, Henry was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
“It was a relief [to be diagnosed] in a way, because I had been unwell for quite a long time. I tried to work part-time, but it got so bad that I just couldn’t work at all,” he says.
“That’s when I started going back to all of these hobbies I had, which were arts and crafts.”
Compared to the mental fatigue he experienced while working a desk job, Henry finds the small, repetitive movements of knitting and sewing more manageable. Still, life with chronic illness has been a significant adjustment. In 2019, Henry decided to go back to university to study visual arts. He admits that some days he still struggles to find the right balance.
“It’s about listening to your body and listening to your symptoms because the major thing is knowing what triggers a crash. Sometimes I still don’t know. A really tiny thing could trigger a major crash.”
“A lot of it is trial and error… I just had to learn by failing.”
Using textiles to explore identity
Henry’s current artistic practice revolves around textiles, but his personal journey with the medium has been far from straight-forward.
He was taught how to knit and sew by his mum and grandma. As a child, he was eager to learn and found joy in being able to make things with his hands. However, during his gender identity journey, Henry worried that his interest in textiles would be an obstacle to him being taken seriously as a man.
“I’d tell kids at school that I was knitting, and they would say, “Oh, you’re a granny.””
“I think as I grew older, it just got a bit too much for me, that pressure. It felt like a very gendered thing, so I decided not to do it anymore.”
In the years following, he focused his attention on fine arts, including painting. It wasn’t until he found Ravelry, an online project and pattern sharing platform for knitters and crocheters, that he realised he could pursue textiles without compromising his identity.
“I went on [Ravelry] and discovered a huge community. There were lots of men on there, lots of trans men, and it just felt like, oh yeah, I can do this just as who I am. I don’t have to feel weird about it.”
For Henry, returning to textiles has felt like an acknowledgment of his personal history. In this sense, it can also be described as a return to self. Henry has also connected with the historic importance of the medium in LGBTQIA+ rights movements, such as the pride flag and the AIDS Memorial Quilt. More broadly, he speaks of the transformative power of clothes in enabling transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people to affirm and express their gender identities.
“Trans Pride” (2024) by Henry Shawcross
Nowadays, an essential part of Henry’s practice is sharing his craft with others. He runs workshops attended by a diverse range of people, including some who have never worked with textiles before.
“I try to make it as easy and accessible as possible. Because it’s art, it doesn’t have to be functional. You can really do whatever you want,” he says.
Despite having to overcome the initial hurdle of his shyness, Henry says these workshops have quickly become one of his favourite parts of his career.
“The best part about the workshops is seeing what people get out of it. Often, they will come up with something that is different to the others and different to what I do.”
Henry’s relationship to textiles has taken a number of turns. At last, it appears to have come full circle: once an aspect of himself that he tried to hide, he now teaches others how it can be used as a tool for deep reflection and self-discovery.
Henry leading a workshop. Photography by Tim Ngo, courtesy of Craft + Design Canberra.
Keep up to date with Henry, his art, and his workshops on Instagram.
