A welcome poem to 2018 in 500 words

Posted on 1 January, 2018

As they say every December 31^st, where did the last year go?

2017 seemed a blur of new iPhones, crazy weather and the latest on Trudeau.

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But as predicted the sun has risen again in 2018 – a sparkling fresh new year

And with it comes the promises you make to yourself, fuelled by new calendars and too much beer

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Of course this year will be different, you will now develop the will power of an ox

Starting right now; you will no longer stand and eat Fruit Loops straight from the box

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You will definitely make that art sculpture and discover Cantonese

Hopefully that goes better than last year’s attempt in France with skis

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You will save more dollars for your future and spend less on Uber Eats

And you definitely won’t spend your car insurance money on that brand new pair of Beats

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You’ll assure your family repeatedly, of course you’ll call home more

What they didn’t quite mean was from Mooseheads at exactly ten past four

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You will pledge to put on active wear only in the vicinity of the gym

Not on a Doritos run to Coles because they make you look more slim

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You’ll keep fights with your significant other to only once a week.

Which would be easier if they weren’t a remote hog with two weeks worth of dishes in the sink

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You’ll spend more time with your children, before they’ve left home and all grown up

But still have nightmares from the terrible two’s when they wouldn’t drink juice from the green cup

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You could be the next “Girl on the Train” and write a bestselling book

You’ve already started a draft for the sequel eloquently titled: “Girl on a Tuk Tuk”

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You vow to eat more green smoothies, pretending not to gag

For starters though you really should stop eating shredded cheese from the bag

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You’ll read more books, stop your scrolling and delete that Instagram app

Just not that book Les Miserables, without Hugh Jackman it really is just crap

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So here’s to life’s problems that every year we try our hardest to fix

Knowing disaster is inevitable and we’ll fall down by January six

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Surely it’s not a bad thing to want to raise your own bar higher?

Except results from attempting that last year really ended rather dire

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For your information, it took me a week to get this poem just right

Which is ironic because your intentions were dashed by January one’s first light

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My first challenge of the year was to write 500 words that had to rhyme.

But now I’ve reached 440 already and desperately running out of time

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Here’s my ode to the goals we all have in life that help us set the scene

For a year that cannot possibly be any worse than the previous 2017

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So after a New Years Eve where alcohol may make up your body by two-thirds

You’ve just read my welcome poem to 2018

In exactly 500 words.