A family secret revealed

Posted on 11 June, 2019

Peter Papathanasiou was about to embark on a PhD in genetics at the Australian National University when he was delivered a shocking genetic discovery of his own.

At 24, his parents Bill and Elizabeth sat him down and revealed an extraordinary secret they had been keeping from him all his life: they weren’t his parents at all; they were his aunt and uncle.

As it turned out, Bill’s brother and his wife, who lived in Greece, had given Peter to Bill and Elizabeth when he was just a baby—a gift as the couple were unable to conceive, which was a huge sorrow (and shame) for them amongst Australia’s Greek community and their own family.

Savvas and Anna Paraskevaidis, Peter’s biological parents at their wedding in Florina, circa 1960. Image supplied.

Peter’s birth mother had previously had two sons before giving birth to him, meaning he also had two brothers that he had never met.

Elizabeth and Bill had been meaning to tell Peter for years but didn’t want the news to derail his university studies.

“It was a big shock to the system—I was looking for the hidden camera thinking this has got to be a joke, and I felt a bit deceived to find out these people aren’t who they originally said they were,” Peter says.

“Later I felt grateful that mum and dad loved me so much that these were the lengths they went through to get me, as they had tried to conceive for 18 years before that. Lastly, I was intrigued about my new family. That I had brothers was the really exciting thing; as I had grown up as an only child.”

Sadly, Peter’s birth mother had died in Greece some years earlier, meaning Peter would never get the chance to meet her, but his birth father and two brothers were residing in Greece at the time.

It took Peter four years to find the courage to travel to Greece to meet them. “I was scared, at first I didn’t want to face it and I was intimidated and doubtful,” he says.

In those four years of deliberating, however, Peter’s birth father also passed away, delivering another blow.

“I was pretty devastated after hearing that, and regretted not taking that chance to meet him as I was told he did want to meet me before he died to see how I turned out,” says Peter.

Reunited for the first time: brothers Billy, Peter and Georgios in Florina, April 2003.  Image supplied.

Finally, in 2003, Peter travelled to Greece to reunite with his two brothers for the very first time.

“We were very curious about each other at first, but now we have a great bond and I have travelled to Greece several times to see them,” he says.

“I now have three sons of my own, so I am able to live through them and see that brother bond I missed out on in my childhood.”

The experience inspired Peter to write a memoir, Little One. The book has been released in Australia, England and Peter hopes, eventually Greece.

Peter with his book, Little One. Source: Twitter.

The book is not just an exploration in Peter’s discovery but also an insight into Canberra at the time when waves of Europeans were migrating to Australia (Bill and Elizabeth migrated in 1956.)

“The Europeans were shocked about how wide open the spaces were, and the very different lifestyle Australians had,” says Peter.

“Likewise, Australians were quite wary as the migrants spoke differently, looked different and ate funny food. Now you can’t go past a café without seeing a Greek salad, so it’s interesting to see the changes there.”

Growing up in Hackett, Peter remembers being embarrassed about his heritage when he was a child.

“I was the only Greek kid in my class, my parents were so much older than the other parents by around 20 years, and they spoke only in Greek to me—I was trying to do everything I could to fit in, but I always stood out.”

“That became less of an issue as I grew up and now, I am proud of where I am from.”

Peter with his sons celebrating their Yiayia’s 88 birthday in December 2018. Image supplied.

Since releasing his book, Peter says many readers with similar experiences have contacted him; with stories ranging from finding out they were adopted to migrating to a different country and feeling alone.

His mother is yet to read the book—“she’s not so good at reading English”—so Peter is looking to have the words translated in Greek.

“She knows the story and why I had to write it, because it was a very cathartic experience for me,” he says.

“I know she’s very proud of me.”

Little One, published by Allen and Unwin, is currently available in most book stores or online.