How I’m combating my productivity guilt (as a chronic perfectionist)
Posted on
You know the feeling – it’s only the first week of January and you’re already falling behind.
You might have made some resolutions, written down some goals, and declared that 2024 is going to be ‘your’ year…whatever that means. But, as you look at your extensive to-do list (drink three litres of water daily, learn a new language, improve your fitness, drink less, travel more, spend time with family, floss consistently), it hits you like a freight train – anxiety, stress or guilt that you won’t achieve everything.
I’m talking about productivity guilt: when you have so many things to do that you achieve…none of them. Or only some of them. Or you get most done but still feel like you’re not enough.
Hi, my name is Erin and I’m a victim of Girlboss culture. And That Girl culture. And hustle culture.
I basically have a fetish for unstoppable work and self-comparison – that I can always be better, more successful, and work harder. I also suffer very badly from productivity guilt.
And if you’re anything like me, you’ve let this feeling control you for far too long. You’re over-extended, stressed, and panic-stricken AND IT’S ONLY JANUARY.
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions (I rarely keep them, and it always ends in disappointment and – you guessed it – productivity guilt) but this year, I want to work less* and play more, making more time for things and people that truly make me happy. We’re battling against burnout, baby.
Here’s my plan – I’m going to Marie Kondo my brain. Here’s how…
Tidy up my thought process
Okay – I don’t actually expect to ‘cure’ myself of my productivity guilt, but I would like to be able to relax on the lounge once in a while without mentally listing all of the things I SHOULD be doing instead of resting my body (vacuuming/ironing/washing/finding that very important scrap of paper I put in my bag weeks ago and forgot about…the list goes on).
So, instead, my goal is to reframe my thought patterns by breaking it down into three simple sections:
- Do I need rest?
- Do I want to rest?
- Will there be huge repercussions if I don’t do that thing RIGHT THIS MINUTE?
Sounds super simple right? Well, for me it’s not. I thrive off having a big to-do list, multiple tasks on the go, and having a deadline – even if that deadline is having a clean pair of jeans to wear into the office the next day.
Yes, I’m addicted to the dopamine rush our brain releases once a project or task is recognised as completed. Submitting an editorial, seeing the HerCanberra content schedule filled for the week, or even neatly putting away my laundry – colour-coded of course – is like crack to me.
I know how insane I sound. But the hope is by focusing on what will make me feel good in the moment, I’m actually more likely to feel good in the long term as well.
Keep track of what I achieve on any given day
I usually keep a to-do list, but I have a bad habit of focusing on what went wrong during the day, instead of everything I did well. It’s time to change that up and crack out the gold stars.
Even if I only get through the bare minimum requirements for the day, I’m still going to think about it as an important achievement, because it still has a positive impact on my list of things to do. Get more than that done? Two gold stars for me! That’s even more accomplishments I can be proud of.
By keeping track (in a positive way) of everything I do, I’m remaining fully aware of how I’m catering to my needs and responsibilities in my work and personal life. So even if I just took it easy, went for a walk, and got my nails done on the weekend, I’m counting that as an achievement – one that nurtures my soul.
There are only so many hours in a day and they shouldn’t all be spent working at full speed.
Be realistic
Do I actually need to deep clean the fridge on a Friday night instead of cuddling with my significant other? Probably not – unless I have a cleaning bug and actually want to (yes, this does happen). By catching myself in my more irrational moments, the aim is to alleviate some feelings of guilt and be able to revel in things I enjoy.
I also hope to embrace the state of non-completion in my personal life – the idea that there will always be things to do, and I will never be truly caught up. It’s nothing to feel bad about and preserving my mental capacity for things and people I love is much more important.
After all, health is wealth and while maximising time optimally is great, sometimes I do just need to spend a few hours in bed with my partner, eating chocolate-covered popcorn while binge watching a new TV show – things that, to quote Marie Kondo, spark joy.
Add in a casual TikTok scroll and you’re looking at my new (hopefully) guilt-free weekend plans.
*Mentally – I still love my job.
