Vanishing Act: Personal Loss amid Faceless Tech
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What began as a routine, mindless login to Facebook quickly spiralled into the irrevocable destruction of 16 years of milestones and shared history.
Digital unravelling
Waiting for a physio appointment, I reflexively reached for my phone and opened Facebook. What should have been an uneventful scroll seemingly triggered a sequence of events that have left me unexpectedly reeling.
An unusual password prompt was the first red flag. Double-checking that I was securely within the confines of the legitimate Facebook app, I proceeded cautiously. My sense of unease heightened slightly when another message popped up, insisting on an immediate password update. I complied just before being called in to my appointment and forgetting about it all for a few hours.
Later that evening, my attempts to log in were again met with frustration despite trying both old and new passwords. Then I noticed something alarming –two unfamiliar email addresses were listed as options to receive a verification code. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. “Fuck, I’ve been hacked.”
My email then showed me just how quickly it happened – four minutes. In that tiny time frame, Facebook sent me five emails; An account recovery code (not requested by me), an odd login, concern my account had been accessed and then scheduled for permanent deletion.
With faith in my tech and problem solving-skills, I thought I could regain access by using Facebook on a web browser so I tried desktop. As soon as I entered my login credentials, I faced a stern message. Account disabled. And no matter how many rabbit holes of links and hyperlinks I’ve clicked in the hours since there is no way of coming back from this.
My genuine ‘oh, shit’ moment
Initially, I brushed off the inconvenience of starting a fresh account, mostly annoyed by the hassle. But soon, the extent of the repercussions became evident. In an instant, a digital wave swept away years of memories, conversations, and connections.
While my enthusiasm for the platform had waned over time, my account remained a digital time capsule of my younger self.
Amidst many mundane musings, lay incredible holidays, milestones, and heartfelt exchanges. Comments and reactions from loved ones on graduations, first jobs, international adventures, my wedding, the birth of my daughter and the death of my father are just… gone.
Those little reminders of my banter with Dad, our travels, our memories and the ways he was proud of me, have been taken too.
It’s the same with Messenger. Years of conversations, privately shared photos and silly memes with a whole cast of people, some still in my life and others now somebodies that I used to know, are out of my reach.
The invisible giant
As my mild irritation became a sunken pit in my stomach, I was determined to try and salvage what I could. I had 30 days until my account was deleted. Surely I could find someone to talk to and at the very least get a downloaded copy of my digitised self.
And yet, despite hearing about the armies of people that roam sprawling Facebook headquarters around the globe, finding a contact to even retrieve a copy of my account has so far proved fruitless.
I submitted help requests through their business centre, almost fell for some fake ‘Facebook help centre’ numbers and even tried directly reaching out to Facebook staff via LinkedIn but the silence is gaping.
Digital vulnerability becomes unnerving reality
This is the thing that’s worrying me now. What else do they know? What else was linked? What else may be compromised? And honestly, I don’t know the answer.
Thankfully, I never used Facebook Pay or entered my banking information, but could they have their sights set on that too? I used the same email address for my Facebook account to login to dozens of other sites.
I have no idea how my account was targeted, nor how my password was guessed, so how can I anticipate what else may be under threat?
Preserve your digital relics
My main lesson is to download your profile if you care about it – even in the slightest.
If there is some memory that makes you smile, if there is a milestone that was celebrated, a message that gives your strength or reminds you that you are not alone, just download it or take a screenshot.
When it comes to security, I really don’t know what else I could have done. My passwords were long, unique and full of capitals, numbers and special characters. No malware or anything has turned up on my computer, I hadn’t accessed any suss sites, never tried to access the dark web… So if I’m at risk, I figure you are too.
I’ve since created a new email address dedicated to my Facebook account. My new account has a fake birthday, no phone number, no workplace or schooling history, no hometown, and no relationship status.
Maybe I’m going too far, how likely is it that lightning would strike twice? But if it does, at least I’ll know I’ve limited the potential damage because clearly the Facebook gods aren’t listening.
Feature image: Jess and her dad at her university graduation. Image supplied.
