Does your sex positivity include sex workers?
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This is the question Canberra-based author, sex worker, sexologist, and scholar Dr Hilary Caldwell is asking.
While sex positivity has become mainstream in the media with the release of TV shows like Sex Education on Netflix and books like Alyx Gorman’s All Women Want, and sexual wellness has become something of a buzz word (who can forget the Goop Jade Egg?), she argues that the ACT has lost our progressive status when sex is work.
“Most people don’t know that sex workers are still treated badly and criminalised in many ways in the ACT. ‘It’s complicated, and everyone can help’,” she says.
“Sex workers are more visible, vocal and mainstream than ever before. We are in movies – sometimes even without being murdered – and our lives are increasingly seen as fascinating and multi-faceted. Yet most of us continue to be negatively affected by stigma and bad, non-evidence-based laws.”
And as one of the most female-dominated professions in the world (although it is diverse and includes all genders, classes and races), Hilary says it’s also an important step in creating gender equality.
“Many Australians are tolerant of sex outside of traditional moral codes or romantic tropes but still feel uncomfortable when asked to support the idea of commercial sex,” she explains.
“Sexual equality cannot exist while women’s sexuality is shamed, and payment is considered degrading. Sexual equality is vital for gender equality, but countries competing to measure greater gender equality fail to interrogate sexual mores. The legacy of historical stigmas could be remedied through allyship with sex positive activists. Gender equality means equality for everyone.”
With a PhD from UNSW, multiple masters degrees, and over two decades of experience in sex work, she also says that sex work plays an important role in women discovering their own sexual preferences and desires.
“In my research about women buying sexual services, I found that sex workers taught women how to identify their desires, prioritise them and actively seek avenues to fulfil them,” she explains.
“For many of these women, the hetero-normie dating world was not a safe place to learn and grow, and paying for pleasure was just as much about fun as it was therapeutic.”
Arguing that sex workers are still criminalised and stigmatised in Australia in 2025, she says in the ACT, “sex workers work under a model euphemistically called ‘legalisation’.”
“In reality, this criminalises all sexual services that do not fit the narrowly proscribed legal definitions. This means that a brothel is defined as more than one person in a premise, often forcing sex workers to choose between working safely or working legally.”
“Obeying the law of the letter means sex workers cannot employ support staff, such as security, reception, a cleaner or a driver. The places in which sex work establishments are delegated have few public transport options and are considered unsafe for women at night.”
“Our sexuality is policed. And it is judged harshly by employers, landlords, potential partners and many, many others.”
Dr Hilary Caldwell.
As a sex worker, Hilary says she has “experienced decades of whorephobic slut-shaming stigma”, from having a bank not allowing her EFTPOS services, to being refused health care, life insurance, income protection insurance, workers’ compensation and other labour rights.
She says she has also been blackmailed, extorted for sex and stalked and has seen other sex workers denied housing, Airbnb rentals, online spaces, web-hosting services, custody of their children, intimate relationships, families, justice and employment opportunities.
“The treatment of sex workers is evidence of what can happen to any women who dares to be unashamedly sexual,” she says.
“Even though we know that all genders buy and sell sexual services, the traditional sex worker trope involves saving cis-women from their sexuality. In this way, the state supports violence against women and actively slut-shames.”
“Younger people are identifying LGBTIQA+ in numbers greater than can be called a minority, and they are embracing casual sex and more relaxed relationship styles. Sex is now widely recognised to have health benefits that should, as an onboard remedy, be available to all of us in equal measures. Sex workers have been left behind.”
But how can you help? Hilary explains that it all starts with an attitude change, including a reflection on your own values, attitudes and beliefs.
“Please open your mind and allow any biases against the idea of commercial sex and sex workers to be challenged. As sex workers become more visible and vocal in truth telling, we need you to listen to us. We need you to stand up when people disrespect us. Sex work is work,” she says.
“Great sex is beneficial for our mental and physical health. We cannot advance gender equality or a sex positive world if we leave sex workers behind. Please be an ally to sex workers.”
Dr Hilary Caldwell is a proud sex worker, researcher, sexologist and author with a deep commitment to abolishing slut-shaming as a weapon of patriarchy. She is a queer parkrunner, and a mother and grandmother. Her book, Slutdom: Reclaiming shame-free sexuality published by University of Queensland Press is available from all good bookstores.
