Catherine McGregor: a study in courage

Posted on 2 April, 2015

“Just letting you know that Mal will be at my book launch tomorrow. But he’ll be there as Catherine.”

“Just letting you know that Mal will be at my book launch tomorrow,” my husband said to me about three years back, “But he’ll be there as Catherine.”

It took me a few seconds to grasp what he meant. Malcolm McGregor—speechwriter to the Chief of Army, including that speech on the treatment of women in the army that went viral internationally for all the right reasons, our little boy’s godfather and one of my husband’s best mates—was now living as a woman.

My husband had known for about six months and had respected Catherine’s request for privacy. Gender transition after spending a lifetime feeling trapped in the wrong body is something that sits at an emotional and physical magnitude that most of us never have to fathom.

Going through it while still married, as Catherine was at the time (they remain friends), is something deeply private, which deserved space from friends, family, colleagues. In Catherine’s situation as a senior and very ‘visible’ Army officer at the time—she also needed space from the ravenously hungry media.

In my first email exchange with Catherine the night before my husband’s book launch (which was also one of her earliest ‘official’ appearances as a female), I reassured her of my full support. I’ll never forget her response—relief, but she also gave us an ‘out’ if we wanted her to step down as godparent for our son.

When you think about the kinds of adults you want as role models in your kids’ lives, there’s usually a ‘wish list’ of qualities. For me, it’s someone who’ll stand up for what they believe in, and who’ll be themselves even when the world seems against them. I want someone who’ll take risks and act with integrity and authenticity and compassion. In Catherine’s case, we had all of that plus one of the the sharpest and most articulate and funny minds I think I’ve ever encountered.

Why would we sack her as godparent? If anything she deserved a promotion!

Since then, we’ve watched as she ‘came out’ as a transgendered person. We’ve seen her navigate media interviews with poise and openness. We’ve read her interview in the Australian Women’s Weekly. We’ve watched her on Q&A and Australian Story and in numerous other TV interviews—each one more impressive and confident than the last.

We’ve seen her combat online trolls and respond to a barrage of transphobia. We’ve watched her learn when to engage and when to maintain a dignified silence.

We’ve seen her do all of this while working in two very male-dominated professional arenas—the military and the world of cricket. And we’ve seen people in both of those male-dominated and ‘traditional’ realms respond to her with almost overwhelming positivity.

Chief of Army, Lieutenant General David Morrison—Catherine’s boss at the time and a long-time friend—was one of the first in whom she confided. He’s always been one of the most supportive.

Catherine is the highest ranking transgendered military officer in the world (now Director of Research and Analysis in the Office of the Chief of Air Force.) She’s a well-respected political and cricket commentator. She’s Vice President of the Australian Service Cricket Association responsible for Women’s ADF cricket and she is the Prime Minister’s delegate to the Cricket Australia National Selection Team for the PM’s XI.

As much as I deeply respect the career aspects (she’s incredibly talented to the point of mind-blowing in her grasp of complex situations), for me it’s always the personal qualities that matter most. ‘Courage’ is the word that comes to mind, closely followed by ‘grace’.

She’s not only my son’s role model now. She’s one of mine.