We need to start thinking about the impacts of ‘The Pause’ on all people
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You might think that only women are affected by their changing body and changing hormones as they age.
You would be misinformed. While the discussion around changing bodies is very gendered (menopause only, ladies only, women’s issues, women of “a certain age”) I start as I mean to go on with a firm statement that menopause and andropause happens to people.
The ‘Pause’ impacts human beings. And being silent, or silenced, does not change that—it simply entrenches suffering and prevents identifying the supports and structures that will make a difference and help us navigate this very natural stage of life.
We are all different, and our bodies and our hormones are unique to us. It follows, that we don’t all share the same experiences of ‘The Pause’, and neither is our experience any measure of the experience of others.
To listen to some people, the symptoms are all in the head of the sufferer. Others are only too willing to diminish serious and distressing medical symptoms as just “your time of life”.
While symptoms we hear about commonly are anxiety, hot flushes, night sweats, lack in concentration, muscle loss, hair loss and decreased libido there is so much more, and the impact of those symptoms will be affected by the life experiences you had before ‘The Pause’.
Andropause, perimenopause and menopause intersect with everything already present in a person’s life, whether in terms of identity (minority or minoritised), available resources, class, race, past trauma, present trauma, support networks, stress, poverty, health, and/or disability.
None of us has exactly the same life experience as another. We know from research that these experiences also affect how our mind and body responds to our hormones. So, our experiences affect both how we respond to hormonal changes and its bodily effects and how we interpret and integrate those changes.
One thing is for sure: if things are already challenging—if someone is already experiencing difficulty or discrimination, andropause, perimenopause, or menopause is likely to make things harder not easier.
When people do talk about it, when they feel safe to talk about it, we hear stories of being dismissed, diminished, not believed, or mocked for the changes they are experiencing. Considered “past it” or “unable to keep up”. It can be lonely, and in the workplace particularly, anxiety-inducing.
As a result, people are suffering in silence and often alone. The added complications that overlay this is rationalising with the outside world why you are making perceived mistakes or you are absent.
‘The Pause’ significantly impacts people, but we don’t talk about it lest we be thought less efficient, less effective, less functional, less loving, less committed, less than.
It has an impact on life, relationships and workplaces. While the time period of the impact can vary, what we do know is that employers who are proactive in providing support can reap great benefits. They retain committed, effective, experienced staff, people feel comfortable bringing their whole selves to work, and staff can be upfront about the supports they need on challenging days.
Some employers are considering menstruation/perimenopause/menopause/andropause leave to recognise that the symptoms experienced might need flexibility to manage people effectively.
I have noticed a bit of media lately on workplaces considering implementing a leave category for people who are negatively impacted by ‘The Pause’. In these reports, this is seen as a radical step but it is one that is really important for the reasons I have discussed.
If we want to retain the talented staff we have spent time training and developing, if we want diverse voices around the table when we innovate and hack, if we want to be able to actually run our businesses and government departments in the midst of a skills shortage, we need to start thinking about making our workplaces supportive and enabling environments for people experiencing these hormonal transitions.
Central to this is the idea of changing our minds and assumptions about changing bodies.
It is not enough to see this transition as requiring medical support. We need to recognise that the social model of aging (and consequent stigma around aging bodies) has well and truly reached its use-by-date. It is not working for us anymore.
Changing bodies, changing hormones, changing appearance are all part of the richness of life. All bodies deserve respect, care and nurture and we need to create an environment in which the experience of changing as we age is recognised, supported, nurtured, and celebrated.
It’s a pause, not a full stop. A transition, not a destination.
