Monday Moment: When life feels precarious…

Posted on 8 February, 2016

A few days ago, my friend lost a very dear friend.

The suddenness ripped the rug from under her. It was one of those tragedies that makes you want to hug people closer.

If we dwell for too long on the fragility of life, there can be an impulse to wrap ourselves and those we love in cotton wool. Perhaps if we stay ‘safe’ and cocooned from danger, we might give ourselves more time.

But more time for what?

A half-lived life spent grappling for security and stepping away from our light into the shadows is a waste of our one, precious chance. Giving up opportunities and avoiding risks can shrink us. Playing safe nearly always means playing small.

Researcher Brene Brown speaks of ‘foreboding joy’. That feeling of dread we experience when everything is going well. The idea that we’re so lucky, surely any minute now the other shoe will drop and we’ll lose all of this.

She has interviewed many who have lost loved ones. Overwhelmingly they now choose ‘more’ instead of less. Bigger lives. More risk. Less cotton wool. Their typical advice isn’t, “Take more care”. It’s, “Don’t waste the time you have”.

What would a ‘bigger life’ look like for you?

• Going for a promotion, even if that means several job interviews?
• Risking heartbreak, chancing love?
• Submitting a creative project (book, artwork, music), maybe many, many times
• Quitting or letting go of something (or someone), even though it feels ‘wobbly’ to do so
• Travelling or pushing other boundaries

I watched as my grieving friend chose almost immediately to embrace life even more fully. To dispense with the distractions that don’t count towards the big picture. To create. To love. To shine.

How she honours her friend, by doing this…
How she honours life…
How she honours herself…

Life is so precious. It’s so precarious. Throw yourself at it, hard.

Image of ‘…traveler with backpack…‘ via Shutterstock