Ask Dr Kelly: 36, single and wanting kids
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In the first instalment of a new HerCanberra series, Dr Kelly Teagle, GP and Women’s Health Specialist, answers your anonymous questions.
If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor a question that’s personal, embarrassing or just on your mind for free, now is your chance.
Click here to access an anonymous GoogleForm where you can ask Dr Kelly Teagle anything you like and we’ll publish her answer as part of the Ask Dr Kelly series over the coming weeks.
Dear Dr Kelly,
I am 36 and a single female, but I would like to have children someday.
How soon would I need to meet someone to realistically be able to get pregnant with them?
Great question! This is a burning issue for many professional women.
There are as many different answers as there are single ladies due to both physiological and social variables.
There are some things I can tell you for sure about the physiological ones:
- Your fertility declines fairly steadily from age 32 but quite rapidly from age 37.
- This decrease in fertility is due to a reduction in the number of eggs in the ovaries and age-related deterioration of the eggs’ genetic material.
- Fertility is reduced even further by additional factors like poor sperm, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and autoimmune disorders.
- Conception rates even with IVF are poor after the age of 37. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG) only 22% of IVF cycles result in live births at age 38, declining to 1% by age 45.
- If you do achieve pregnancy after 37 your chance of a miscarriage is much higher due to age-related abnormalities in the genetic material. ACOG quotes an almost 20% miscarriage rate at age 38, increasing to over 36% by age 42.
- Genetic abnormalities are much higher in older pregnancies. For example, the risk of Downs syndrome increases from 1 in 2000 births for 20 year-old mums to 1 in 100 for 40 year-olds.
- Older mums also have higher rates of complications like gestational diabetes and hypertension (high blood pressure) and more complications during delivery.
- The chance of having an IVF baby after 36 is greatly increased if younger eggs are used; that is, either by using an egg donor or by having eggs or embryos frozen when you’re younger.
The social variables are trickier. How do you find a like-minded guy at this stage of your life? Do you rush into a relationship just so you can fall pregnant? When is the right time in your career? Are you financially ready?
If you have the financial means you can freeze some eggs now, which will give you a much better chance at achieving an IVF pregnancy later on when Mr Right’s sperm come along (pardon the pun).
If you don’t, and you are very committed to having children then your options are either:
- Hope that Mr Right arrives in the next few years, at the risk of not being able to get pregnant at all by then, or at least needing IVF, or
- Settle for Mr Right-now (perhaps even a sperm donor) and be prepared to go it alone as a single mum.
No-one will be able to give you the definitive answer, because no-one can know for sure when you will no longer be able to fall pregnant.
I suggest that you really think about how much you want kids, and perhaps chat to a counsellor. Hopefully, the right answer for you will become clear.
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