I’m giving Christmas a break this year. Again! Here’s a few good reasons why…
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If you’re on the brink of yuletide collapse, then maybe you need to take a step back like I did last silly season and the one before, and now, well, it feels like a way of life.
Also, no children were harmed in the preparation of this story!!!
The year before last year I wrote about how I was stepping back from Christmas because of complete overload. And then last year we decided on another quiet one. And it worked out for the best. Well, guess what dear readers, this year we will be on holiday in Port Douglas so there is next to zero chance of a tree, trimmings, fanfare, cooked food or even many presents on the day. And I WON’T be made to feel guilty about it.
My detachment from the Christmas frenzy has come when my children are in their teens. I get that the magic rituals of Christmas mean a lot to the littles, and back then I did my best.
But a few years ago, I stood back and assessed the craziness unfold at the shops, on the streets and online. Everyone gets in that particular frenzy that only Christmas can bring, trying to create beautiful experiences and memories for their families and friends but usually at the expense of their bank balances, their time and their sanity.
I asked how many of us were limping over the line to 25 December as mere shells of our former selves?
And there were a stack of you as it turns out.
I shared my dirty little secret, which might sound a bit controversial coming from someone who is a self-declared homebody with an almost obsessive love of family, tradition, food and an insta-worthy table setting, but we gave Christmas a bit of a miss, and now it seems our new normal.
Before you label me the Grinch, I want to declare that if you’ve got Christmas under control and will wake up on the day ready for a Hallmark version of life, then more power to you. Honestly, I bet you’ve put enormous work into it and I admire that. Merry Christmas!
But please don’t come at me for being selfish, uncaring or risking my children’s emotional stability by going in completely the other direction. I’ve decided to write down my reasons publicly in the hope that it may encourage others to give themselves permission to step back a bit too—particularly mums, who generally take on the burden of adding tinsel into everyone’s lives throughout December and upon whom the burden of gift list-making, procurement, wrapping, home decorations, food shopping and prep, cooking, hosting and event management, usually rests (is Christmas a feminist issue? I have to wonder…).
Before I get started, I want it known that I adore my family, and we have plenty of beautiful Christmas memories upon which to draw. But I feel increasingly uncomfortable with going over the top for 25 December when we are all, frankly, just a bit over it.
So here are three things I am NOT doing this Christmas.
Gifts
My kids are privileged and have everything they’d ever need—and more. They will each receive one or two modest gifts on Christmas morning. Could they ask for more? They really better not.
I have set expectations early on this, and they understand a holiday in tropical far north Queensland is privilege enough.
I have spent the last 12 months being a generous gift-giver to people I know and people I don’t. I give when people need it—when friends are sick and need a food package, to celebrate their wins in life with a bottle of champagne, to encourage their passions and make them feel seen and appreciated. I do not need a date to gift the people I love in this world. And I have also made sure to donate my time, awareness and money to the causes which need my attention, of which, sadly, there are so many.
I will declare that starving displaced families in Palestine, Ukraine, and a charity which takes in injured and sick street cats have received the bulk of my donations this year.
My husband and I do not have presents for each other this year. I could not be happier. We give to each other all the time in words, actions, experiences and the privilege of being able to buy what we want when we need it.
I watch the commercial pressure mount on families to gift for the sake of gifting, and on those who can’t afford the rising cost of living much less the yuletide free-for-all. There is so much last-minute buying that seems extravagant and wasteful, just for the sake of having piles of stuff under the tree.
And then there are households with nothing, who watch the excess happen around them. Let’s take a step back from the senseless over-spend and stocking-stuffing for everyone’s sake. Your credit card and the environment will thank you.
Decorations/Wrapping/Cards
There will be no wrapping. I find it hard to get excited about wrapping anything ever, and it does seem a waste of paper and effort to wrap gifts only to have it ripped off and chucked in the bin. I have not wrapped things in years, mostly giving things in reused paper bags. It feels great, let me tell you.
Christmas cards? Nope, not this year either. I may write a note to the kids but not a single card has gone out from me. I write letters, cards and notes all the time (just ask anyone who knows me) expressing my love and attachment throughout the year. I have said all I need to say, people!
A Christmas tree
Again that’s a no. I am not anti-tree per se but this year will be a treeless affair.
Also, now that we have cats, it really has become a comedy of potential poisoning incidents, breakages, and glitter catastrophes to have anything within their reach. Blame the cats. Please.
Image by Jessica Lewis via Pexels
Christmas food
What are we eating on the day? Not sure yet actually, but its going to be hot and sticky so probably prawns, tropical fruit and a ridiculous ice-cream cake that I love to make at Christmas time.
And so to the Actual Big Day: you may be asking what are we actually going to do? See that’s another delightful part of stepping back this year. I don’t know exactly.
But its likely to revolve around a lot of pool time and a family movie. The quieter the day, the better. My kids are exhausted too!
Honestly, I am looking forward to the warmth and happiness that will come with this day, without a single frond of fir tree or strand of tinsel to detract from my joy.
I feel amazingly calm about all of this. For me it feels absolutely right and I consider it a gift to myself.
Main Image by Karolina Grabows for Pexels
