The Perils of Healthy Eating and Not Finding Happiness

Posted on 20 January, 2016

You’re already an OK person. Losing weight or eating healthy food doesn’t make you better.

Scrolling through my social media feed, however, I’m led to believe differently. Apparently, having a ‘bikini body’, looking slim in a white dress on the beach at sunset and doing yoga on a balcony #inmyactivewear, all tell me that if I can just get my body to look like that girl, in that photo, then I too can find the happiness that I’ve been searching for. I mean, for crying out loud, look how happy that girl is!

I feel that it’s the both the image and the message that really set us up for failure. Let me give you a few examples. These are descriptions of REAL Instagram images that I’ve come across this week and how they make me feel.

Image 1: Hot girl in tights, with divine skin and breasts, staring over the beach

Tagline: Change the way you look, feel and perform.

How it makes me feel: I’m not enough, I need to be and look fitter. I’m not fit looking enough. I need to be more fit looking.

Image 2: Selfie of hot girl with tanned skin and amazing abdominal muscles, wearing crop top and shorts

Tagline: New Year’s Eve workout done

How it makes me feel: Who else worked out on New Year’s Eve? After rearing children, attending endless family gatherings and cleaning up after Christmas I was asleep by 9.30pm. I’m such a lazy arse for not doing a workout.

Image 3: Tanned girl lying down in workout gear lifting up her shirt to display chiseled abs

Tagline: Don’t forget to stick to your exercise routine this festive season, it’s also bikini season.

How it make me feel: So you’re saying that if my abs don’t look like this I shouldn’t wear a bikini? Bikinis are only for people with abs. Oh ok…got it. I look like rubbish in a bikini because I don’t look like THAT in a bikini.

Image 4: Toned, lean woman in workout gear doing what looks to be one-armed pushups (surely not?) with perfectly French manicured nails and a great ponytail

Tagline: Mother, wife, PT and health fanatic, now that’s a tick in our box.

How it makes me feel: What about me? Mother, wife, put dinner on the table, didn’t kill children. Don’t I get a tick? I’m not good enough. I should have achieved more today.

Image: Green smoothie in a milk-bottle like jar with a striped yellow straw. There are token lime and pineapple wedges to make it feel like a whole food

Tagline: Who’s doing our 3 day cleanse? It’s the perfect mood booster for abundant energy.

How it makes me feel: Ohhh…so I’m tired and sluggish because I need to drink more green smoothies. The solution to my low mood and lack of energy is solved by a three day cleanse. Huh – I though it was the fact that I’m doing 20 million things. My diet must not be good enough. And I’m a nutritionist.

Now if you’ve read through this and thought: “Well, it’s your choice on how those pictures made you feel, stop your whinging” – I 100% agree with you.

I do my best everyday to change the way I think about myself and my body, rather than comparing it to the false reality of the media around me. Sometimes I can do it and sometimes I can’t. I’m not perfect.

Our amazing leader, Amanda, wrote a wonderful little post earlier this week about this pressure to be ‘happy’ all the time. To live a perfect life. It seems like this perfect life is green smoothies after yoga on the beach in your new Nikes. You have to be perky, enthusiastic and upbeat, every second of the day, otherwise there’s something wrong with you.

This perfect person doesn’t let other people’s opinions sway them, they ALWAYS have time to exercise and they wouldn’t dare let an unclean food past their lips. They’re full of motivation and inspiration, constantly!

I don’t think it’s sustainable, realistic or normal. Like Amanda beautifully explained to her daughter, “Without sadness we wouldn’t truly experience happiness”, so too, do I feel that this expectation to be happy all the time and get life ‘right’ is just not the way we’re supposed to live. Our imperfections are what make us human. You can’t have highs without the lows.

In the health, wellbeing and nutrition industry, the benefits of food and exercise have been blown out of proportion.

Apparently happiness and an amazing life are achieved through cutting out this, or eating like that...it’s just NOT true.

Yes, healthy eating is an important part of life. Take my word for it, I’ve based my entire career on it. I help people to do it everyday! However, it’s not the be all and end all in life. You shouldn’t be thinking about it all the time. It shouldn’t be obsessive or cause you anxiety.

I’m sorry, but healthy eating won’t make you happy. You don’t need a ‘perfect diet’ to be in the best health or shape of your life. What is the perfect diet anyway?

I believe that happiness has more to do with forgiveness, generosity, quality relationships, sharing a great meal with those you love, being content with what you have and being mindful and present in the moment, among other things.

It’s not at all about your coconut oil, kale smoothie, bliss balls with maca powder and instant goo glow serum (that last one I made up, but it sounds pretty cool).

That #sugarfree #dairyfree (but we’ll still include butter) #glutenfree #grainfree #everythingyummyfree recipe may help you manage an intolerance to a particular nutrient but it won’t make you happy, not truly happy.

Food is just food. Some food nourishes you more than others and good overall diet quality will improve your immunity, keep you at a healthy weight (which is wide and diverse and different for everyone), decrease your risk of developing chronic disease, increase your lifespan and offer you a sense of improved wellbeing.

It will improve your life, absolutely, but it’s not THE answer.

Don’t live the rest of your life thinking if…

• I just lost 10kg
• I just ate more ‘clean’
• I just stopped feeling bloated

… then I will be happy.

Whilst you work on losing some kilos, improving your overall diet quality and managing your tummy troubles – if that’s what you really want to do – also work on being content with who you are now. Take the highs with the lows and learn how to be YOU!

Life is a rollercoaster of happiness, sadness, anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, joy, excitement and all the other emotions we’ll experience over the years. Embrace where you’re at, accept who you are. Don’t try so hard to change everything about yourself all at once.

Acceptance is actually an important step for change, so change because you’re adapting and growing, not because you think you’re not good enough and need to become better.

Image of ‘young pretty teen girl…‘ via Shutterstock