Battling fear and mediocrity
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“Stop letting your fear condemn you to mediocrity” Dr Steve Maraboli
I have a number of quotes that are posted up in my office space, but it’s this particular one that is my favourite. It’s from Dr Steve Maraboli, a personal coach and author and it’s a mantra I find myself regularly using in various facets of my life.
It’s almost confronting in a way, isn’t it? It implies that only we are standing in the way of our own success, joy or glory.
In what seems to be an era of serial entrepreneurs, we often talk about fear holding us back in relation to business pursuits. It’s also discussed in the context of romantic relationships. Why then, do we not talk about it in respect to our own health and fitness? Thinking about this quote, I think it’s especially applicable to health and fitness. After all, aren’t we the ones responsible for the food that goes in our mouths and the level of movement that we have every day? Not to mention managing our stress levels and getting enough sleep.
I’m almost embarrassed to admit this but for a long time I had a lot of anxiety about lifting weights in a gym.
It’s pretty ridiculous when I think about it rationally – I worked in a gym for over five years, I’m studying fitness, I’ve worked out with friends… I had no qualms about doing a class, personal training or cardio session, but when it came to lifting weights I’d get really anxious and almost afraid.
It’s something I’ve only overcome recently, and I still can’t pinpoint exactly what it was that made me feel that way. However, it did make me realise that fear can manifest itself in a number of ways and that just by modifying our behaviour, and particularly our mindset, we can overcome our fears and no longer allow them to hold us back.
One of the biggest fears that people have about fitness, particularly in a gym setting, is the fear of being judged by others. This really filters down to two main points that we need to remember:
Firstly, most people are going to respect you for taking the time to look after your body and work out. It’s really important to remember that we are all there for the same fundamental reason: to become stronger, healthier versions of ourselves. In particular, if you’re worried about looking like a rookie, don’t. Everyone starts somewhere and in the event that someone does take notice of you, they’re more than likely thinking about when they first started out and how tough it was.
A few weeks ago I was at crossfit doing a particular lift with a group of people. When it came my turn, I couldn’t lift the weight that everyone else could.
I started to feel angry at myself and embarrassed and someone in the group said “that’s ok, you know that you’ll be able to lift that eventually, don’t you?” It was a good reminder that most people are actually supportive and encouraging. Remember that if you’re feeling insecure because you’re unsure about what you’re doing, you can always ask for help from a staff member at your gym.
Secondly, most people legitimately will not even notice what you’re wearing, what you look like, or in many cases, that you’re even there. This is because they are focused on their own workout and what they are doing. More than likely if someone looks like they are sizing you up it’s because they’re actually staring off into space between sets, they like your outfit or they think you’re a babe. Take it as a compliment and refocus your attention on your workout.
Another fear that we run into is fear of failure. We all fail. It’s how you react to it and how you think about it that makes all the difference.
Just this afternoon I was walking down from the top of Mount Majura, deep in thought about this very article when I slipped, tumbled down the hill in a cloud of orange dust and smashed my knee into a rock. It was in front of strangers, it was painful and it was awkward.
I could have got embarrassed, cursed myself for being clumsy and let it ruin my afternoon.
I could have let it turn me off walking Mount Majura. Instead, I laughed and smiled at the people who asked if I was ok, strolled the rest of the way down the mountain and took care of my knee when I got home. Crisis averted. It’s taking these kind of bumps in the road in your stride and moving on that makes all the difference.
Similarly, we often feel afraid of not being able to do certain things. The worst thing you can do is stand at the start line, in front a barbell, at the door to a class or whatever it is you’re doing and think “I can’t do this”. Chances are if you’re doubting yourself before you even start, you’re going to hesitate, be cautious and not perform to your best ability, thereby reinforcing the initial negative thought.
Instead, why not think “I’m going to give this my best try and see how I go”? If you take the approach of trying your best then the worst thing that can happen is you learn from the experience and can improve. The best thing that can happen is that you can learn a new skill or break a personal record which is going to bring you joy and confidence.
Lastly, let’s talk about fear of not measuring up. This kind of insecurity is toxic.
Exercise and fitness is something that’s supposed to make us feel good about ourselves. Why then, can certain elements and by-products of fitness (and the fitness industry) leave some of us feeling down on ourselves or ‘not good enough’?
A lot of the time this comes from comparison. If you’re feeling ‘not thin/beautiful/strong/fit/good enough’ then that indicates that you’re comparing yourself to what you perceive as ‘enough’ of that quality. That might be an impression that you’ve developed, consciously or unconsciously, through media or social media, or it could be from comparing yourself to the people around you.
I spent my weekend at a seminar with some of the fittest people in Canberra. It would have been easy to feel intimidated and insecure and I’d be lying if those feelings didn’t creep in throughout the day. However, I chose to make a positive spin on it: I noticed what it was that I really admired about these individuals, I watched them and I learned from their behaviour. Instead of leaving feeling bad about myself and my abilities, I left feeling motivated, inspired and excited to use my new knowledge to get stronger and fitter.
If anything, identifying the positive qualities and strengths that I saw in them made me clearer on my own goals, and more committed to what I can do to reach them.
At the end of the day, we are all human and we all have our own special fears and insecurities. What’s important is to acknowledge that these negative feelings are present, and use strategies to get them under control and focus on what’s really important: not how you think you look or the impression that strangers at the gym have of you, but enjoying fitness, making progress and being the happiest and healthiest version of yourself. There’s nothing mediocre about that.
Image of ‘Resting her elbows on her knees…‘ via Shutterstock
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