Exercising compassion: When times get tough
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We all go through tough times.
Family members get sick, we lose jobs, people let us down… life isn’t perfect and sometimes we’re faced with less than ideal circumstances.
For me, it was my grandma getting sick.
My parents were away while she was in hospital with a range of health issues.
I visited her while she was there last week and watched with family members as her dementia got worse and she slowly, heartbreakingly, drifted out of consciousness.
My mum returned from overseas and the next afternoon, my darling Nanny passed away, finally at peace.
It was one of the most emotionally challenging weeks of my life.
Although I had had support from my aunts, cousins, colleagues and friends, I felt dreadfully alone and sad. I withdrew from people around me, couldn’t sleep and lost energy.
It was around this time that I realised how important it is that we take care of ourselves and show ourselves compassion during tough times.
Often, a healthy diet and exercise are the first thing to go when we feel stressed or sad.
Here are some ways you can take care of yourself when times get tough:
Accept reality and forget perfection
Sometimes we can set our standards or expectations too high.
For me, I had to accept that I probably wasn’t going to be able to make Crossfit every morning, get in a couple of runs, do Wednesdays yoga class and play Oztag.
Not between trying to get things done at work, making visits to the hospital and especially not on less than 6 hours sleep.
I had to forgive myself and accept the reality of my situation.
Maybe it’s that you don’t have access to your usual facilities, you’re on the road or perhaps it’s just that you’re overwhelmed with stress or grief.
Surrender to your circumstances, forgive yourself and do what you have to do to get through it.
Listen to your body
One morning I woke up at 5:15 am, ready to head to a 5:45 Crossfit session and my body was sore and exhausted, crying out for a rest day.
I went back to sleep and ended up going for a walk later in the day, but the rest was much needed.
Similarly, some days it was like my body was itching for activity, and lifting heavy things seemed to take a weight off my shoulders.
Your body knows what it needs and it wants – tune in and listen.
If you feel like swapping your weights session for some restorative yoga, do that. If you’re craving a massive session then follow that urge.
Don’t give up
Rest days are good, and we need them… but not every day.
I’ve found that consecutive rest days are actually detrimental to my motivation and make it harder to get back on the wagon later.
In fact, some of the best workouts I’ve ever had are on days where I didn’t feel like showing up.
This morning for example I slept in half an hour and missed Crossfit. The temptation to roll over and go back to sleep was overwhelming – after all, it was a mistake, right?
Instead, I got up, threw on my marathon finisher tshirt, laced up my asics and went for a 10km run. It felt so good.
I ran over the bridge that my grandfather helped build and replayed beautiful memories of my grandparents.
It was one of the best runs I’ve ever had and yet I very nearly missed it.
It’s important to be gentle, but it’s also important to take care of your body and honour your goals.
Remember that often the hardest part is getting dressed and heading out the door.
Start there, show up, and do what you can.
Take care
Take a step outside your head, think about how you would care for someone you love who was feeling this way, and treat yourself that way.
That means ensuring you eat. Not only that, ensuring that you eat meals that nourish you from the inside out.
When I spoke to Lola Berry, author and wellness expert, she said :
“It can be a bit of a cycle because if you have a bad day or you get dumped, or something bad happens, the one thing you want to do is eat carbohydrates and a whole pot of Nutella or something like that.”
“The reality is that that quickly affects your health, because 90% of your serotonin receptors are actually in your gut, so if you’re not healthy it’s really hard to be happy – the two are intertwined.”
She’s right – the first thing I wanted to do was hide in bed all day and eat mountains of carbs, but it honestly makes you feel so much worse.
Exercising and eating well allows you to be the strongest, happiest version of yourself and puts you in the best possible position to get through whatever life throws at you.
It’s nice to have people that love us, but the truth is that no one can take care of you the way you can take care of yourself.
Image of ‘side view of serene woman sitting’ via Shutterstock
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