I hosted an interstater in Canberra. This is what happened | HerCanberra

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I hosted an interstater in Canberra. This is what happened

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You can buy a lot with $500.

A 15″ Acer laptop, five pairs of Peter Alexander PJs or twenty-nine and a half seafood laksas from the Asian Noodle House.

Last weekend I was fortunate to host a guest from interstate who, despite the plethora of possibilities, spent her $500 on a return domestic flight to Canberra. Of course, she reminded me this better be the best weekend ever – after all she could have bought seventy-one ceramic Kmart pineapples for the same amount.

This was not a drill people. The pressure was on.

We felt a long weekend would offer optimum viewing time and give us time to have rest breaks in between all of the hectic Canberra-ness (ha). So Friday morning after a delicious ‘burbs breakfast at Little Oink in Cook I threw us headlong into the vortex and flicked the switch on ‘Canberra tourist’ hyperdrive.

We decided to tackle the obvious places on Friday: Parliament House/s, The War Memorial and Mt Ainslie.

“You’ll miss the weekend crowds,” they said. “They” failed to mention the masses of school kids proudly wearing their “I-came-on-this-trip-to-Canberra-because-my-parents-made-me” faces.

Parliament got the tick of approval after we lurked in the shadows behind a school group and scored a free tour. We were also impressed by the café at New Parliament House, serving up huge scones with jam and cream and sweeping outdoor views of Anzac Parade.

Of course, the ambience was ruined when a magpie swooped, taking a piece of scone right of my hand. My guest wailed thinking she was an extra in Hitchcock’s “Birds” and hastily forced us out the door.

I actually thought I was rather fortunate; better a piece of scone than a chunk of my scalp. Take note evil feathered friends, this Canberran has made her sacrifice for 2018.

The War Memorial was next, where we joined every grey nomad in Australia and a good chunk of those from neighbouring countries. Despite lowering the median age by 35 years, the excellent museum and surrounding monuments received a big thumbs up with a promise to return for an Anzac Day Dawn Service in the future.

Fast forward to Saturday morning, we risked the traffic and decapitated toes from the army of prams to the Handmade Canberra markets. As expected, this was a hit with my guest and our wallets were quickly emptied of cash and we loved stopping to chat to the stallholders. Honourable mention to the girl from Crackle popcorn who patiently let us taste test all six flavours until, of course, we decided on the first one #sorrynotsorry.

Saturday afternoon I hosted a bespoke picnic on the lake with our confectionery loot from the markets. And when I say “bespoke” I mean we sat on two bath towels and ate slightly squashed cannoli from Cannoli Brothers straight out of the paper bag. We’re all class here in Canberra.

We were also lucky to witness the rare religious pilgrimage that is Skyfire with families streaming in dragging gazebos, foldable chairs and dubiously secured toddlers. To this I proudly said, “Canberrans are nothing if not prepared; even if we are six hours early”.

With my exhaustion as Canberra tour guide creeping in and the prime view from our Inner North balcony beckoning, we armed ourselves with cheese and wine and enjoyed Skyfire from home.

Sunday’s weather was a little less fresh summer day and a little more blustering-tornado-in-Wizard-Of-Oz. However, we didn’t let this deter us and packed up the car for a day trip to Murrumbateman. We knew a few glasses of wine and the wood oven pizza from Four Winds would make up for the weather.

Don’t think that pun was lost on us either.

The next morning my guest’s Canberra odyssey ended with a 4:45 am drop off at the airport. We embraced with assurances that, of course, she would visit again. Don’t worry, I checked to see if she was crossing her fingers behind her back.

I watched her walk all the way through to the gate. Which wasn’t hard as she was the only one not wearing a suit, dragging a Samsonite and wielding a Qantas Platinum card.

So that concludes my interstater’s three-day adventure in Canberra. I enjoyed being host in my newly adopted home and only had to defend Canberra fourteen times. So, less than last time.

I look forward to hosting again in another two years and three months which is how long it will probably take me to convince someone else to visit.

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