Monday Moment: How to Avoid Resolution Remorse

Posted on 5 January, 2015

How to Avoid Resolution Remorse: Why over-planning is going to ruin your year and what to do instead…

If there’s one thing we can be certain about in 2015, it’s that the year will be uncertain. And that’s quite inconvenient, really, because a lot of us have a strong desire for certainty and control!

Imagine you’re holding your hand outwards, palm up. In your hand is something ‘gooey’. Jelly, or slime, or ‘gloop’of some sort and your job is to keep it under control.

Our natural inclination is to squeeze it. To hold it tighter. And when we do that, it slips through our fingers…

We can’t control the uncontrollable and we can set ‘resolutions’ only to disappoint ourselves, OR we can do these three things.

Inject more fun

As most of you know, my daughter’s best friend spent most of 2014 in and out of hospital with acute leukaemia. What I admired most was the way the girls responded, psychologically.

Yes, they were stuck socially at arguably the most intensely ‘social’ stage of life. So they made a list of ‘mini-adventures’. Little outings not involving the risk of exposure to common viruses that would stampede all over a bodily system ravaged by low immunity.

And these little adventures were for ice-cream, to see the lights of the city, to watch DVDs at home…TINY, normal, life-brightening things that would make a difference to a stark, scary, unpalatable reality.

How often do we, as adults, resign ourselves to the fact that ‘it’s all too hard’? How often do we whinge? How easy is it for us to slip into the role of ‘martyr’ (in far less troublesome circumstances)?

What mini-adventures of our own await, this year?

Respect yourself

Say what you mean this year. Walk your talk.

Say ‘no’ to the things that bring you down and ‘yes’ to what fills you up.

What filters through is a mood amongst your circle (professionally and personally) of strength. We never admire ‘walkovers’. We admire people who say unpopular things that resonate with us.

Be one of those people…

Replace something ‘blah’ with something better

A few years ago, my My 15 Minutes colleague Audrey Thomas and I, both gave up the certainty of regular income in jobs that were no longer fulfilling us to embark on the work that we love doing.

That was an extreme move and isn’t for everyone.

Others give up a part-time volunteer role to spend more time exercising or give up investing in ‘energy vampires’ at work to spend more time with their family.

So in this new year that is 2015 make this pledge:

This year I’m ready to let go of _____________ to make room for ________________.

If you’re keen to hear of more ways that you can ditch traditional resolutions and start the new year afresh, click here to check out this free, 40-minute New Year podcast from My 15 Minutes and learn why it’s not the ‘resolutions’ we set that count.

Feature image of typewritten New Year, Chapter One courtesy of Shutterstock.