Speed dating? I’m swiping left on that
Posted on
I have to admit, by the time I tried speed dating I was already feeling pretty over it all.
I was definitely preparing for hibernation, but my friend and I had purchased the tickets weeks earlier when things were less bleak and so with her encouragement, I decided to give it a try.
The way this particular speed dating company worked was to set up events in bars around Canberra with different events held for specific age groups. My friend and I are 38 and 39 so we attended the 35-to-42-year-old event.
Once you register and pay, there are a series of profile questions to answer so you can share your interests and hobbies and supposedly then be matched with the ‘potential man of your dreams’. If you are sensing a tone of cynicism here it is not your imagination.
The event runs for two hours and consists of eight dates.
After a serious case of cold feet, my friend and I consoled ourselves by watching the promo video for the dating nights. I should know better by now—however, I got a little bit excited. The men in the video were quite attractive, maybe the men who do speed dating are different from the ones on the apps?
You’re right to laugh at me.
So, we turned up on the night and immediately saw the area where the dating would take place: a few long tables set aside near the bar. A quick assessment of the people in attendance instantly showed:
- All the women were gorgeous and in their mid to late 30’s.
- All the men were around the age of 50.
Instantly suspicious and gripped by a feeling of panic that triggered my fight or flight mode, I downed a glass of wine for some Dutch courage and prepared for the night ahead. I could see that I didn’t have an instant attraction to any of the men there however, I reminded myself, that is the point of meeting someone in person—you have a chance to hopefully connect on a deeper and less superficial level that is not based on looks alone.
Each date would last around 10 minutes. We logged in on the dating service website and every 10 minutes a photo and profile would pop up of your next “date”.Then you would find each other in person and chat.
There were eight dates in total including one in the middle called a “friend date” when you would chat with someone of the same sex. I’ll be honest: this was the best part of the night for me and the only decent conversation I had.
We soon found out that there had not been enough interest from men in our age bracket and so they extended the age range to allow men up to the age of 50 to register. I don’t know how to share my experience of my dates without sounding completely cynical and it’s important to know that most of them weren’t actually unattractive but they were MUCH older than me—and I think it is fair to be angry about that because it wasn’t what I signed up for.
Add to this, the fact that I didn’t not have anything in common with any of my dates and wasn’t that the point of filling in my profile? It was absolutely clear that no planned matching had been done and dates were selected with absolutely no reasoning. I suspect it was a supply and demand issue.
To really drive home how bad the night was and to make me seem like less of a fussy grump, halfway through the night three women left. Really—they just walked out. I was pretty keen to do the same but my friend is clearly the more patient and optimistic one , so she convinced me to stay. It may also have had something to do with the free wine we would receive as part of the ticket price.
I really struggled to make conversation with anyone. It was like pulling teeth trying to get some of these guys to speak. My friend walked away from one of her dates halfway through because he spent the entire 10 minutes checking his phone to see when the next date would start.
Look, I want to end on a positive note so I will say, if there was ever anything good about Bumble and Tinder, I can tell you they are better than speed dating in Canberra. I know that isn’t saying much but at least you can swipe left on a screen.
*Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and I realise everyone has their own views. What works for some isn’t great for others.
