Three things you can do when you’re mid-career and unfulfilled
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It’s Monday and you find yourself mid-career, battling the printer and attending another meeting that could have been an email. It seems like only yesterday you were in your twenties, filled with optimism and energy.
You have experience, expertise, and you know how to get stuff done. But the career excitement you once thrived on is gone. And you’re still seeking a sense of fulfillment.
Sit down, because I have something to tell you. My hunch is your heart’s fulfillment isn’t going to come from your career.
And that’s okay. It’s actually good news!
If you’re not one of the lucky ones whose socks roll up and down at the thought of budget discussions, project proposals, and stakeholder consultations, you probably feel ‘meh’ on Monday mornings or worse, you dread Mondays altogether.
But here’s the good news: when you stop looking in the wrong place for the right thing, you can start making real progress.
The yearning that is quietly nudging you to explore new adventures is a breadcrumb worth following, even if it seems frivolous and unproductive.
Here are three things to try that can help bring a sense of fulfillment to your week.
Remember that you’re a spiritual being with a job
As a people pleaser and veritable ‘good girl’ in recovery, I use the phrasing ‘spiritual being with a job’ as it helps me stand more deeply in my power and gives me the confidence to make decisions that are right for myself and my unique path. But if this wording doesn’t work for you, the beautiful words of poet Mary Oliver are also a great reframe – ‘What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’
Starting from this vantage point creates space to find the value in new pursuits and pathways. Suddenly there is space to see beyond the priorities of the office and its politics, and beyond the ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought tos’ of culture.
So far, culture and convention have guided you to this point in your career. You did what was expected of you, but you sense there is more to life. Trust that feeling.
There is joy. There is curiosity. There is fun. And there is fulfillment.
Reframe the question
Don’t ask yourself ‘What do I want to do?’ ask yourself ‘Who and how do I want to be?’. This one question gives both a guidepost and a way to identify success and fulfillment on your own terms.
When we ask ourselves the question ‘What do I want to do?’ we skip over way too many variables and nuances. This question invites answers that are job titles or job descriptions. It keeps your identity tied to the job role, and not the life experience. This then leads to situations when you’ve achieved a desired goal and are left wondering ‘Why am I still unsatisfied?’.
The alternative question ‘Who and how do I want to be?’ goes beyond the job role title and speaks to the human experience you’re wanting to have, inside and outside of work. This is useful information because it becomes criteria to guide your decisions; it makes you ask “Will this role or that opportunity bring more of these desired things into my life, or less?”
Schedule in a small step and take it
All this is easier said than done, so remember that small steps and your diary are your friend. Schedule in 15 minutes just once a week to dedicate some time and attention to these questions.
At first you may notice the only thing that comes to mind is to rest. Your mind will be cranky and might even tell you that you won’t find fulfillment by taking a nap! Well you can tell your mind to hush for these 15 minutes. Use them to nap if that is what feels best to you. After a period of resting and creating space, you will find your interests and curiosity awaken.
Continue to follow these threads of experience, even if they have no productive purpose. It is enough if it feels fun, frivolous and makes you smile, because you are a spiritual being who happens to have a job.
This is your one precious life. Your time and energy are too important to pretend to be content with a ‘meh’ work week. Your body, mind, and spirit have meaningful and wonderful things to create.
